


The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot

by WolfShadowNinja



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Brief mention of injury but not descriptive, Emotional roller coaster of feelings, Fluff and Angst, Love/Hate, M/M, Minor graphic descriptions of violence, Multi, References to Depression, Sad but it gets better, honestly don't know how to rate this, so much fluff tho, there we go
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-07
Updated: 2017-09-30
Packaged: 2018-07-22 02:05:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 16
Words: 24,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7415047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WolfShadowNinja/pseuds/WolfShadowNinja
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John Laurens goes to Kings College, despite his father's opinion. Longing for a new start, meet new friends, maybe get in a relationship--</p><p>After everyone learns he's the son of Henry Laurens, however, things go downhill right at the beginning.</p><p>UPDATES MAY BE SLOW PLEASE BARE WITH ME<br/>((So basically this is a lams fanfic I decided to write and give John some attention since ones I've read revolved around Alex. Poor John. This isn't exactly my first fanfic but this is my first lams fanfic so ya lets hope it goes well and I hope you guys like it!))</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Beginning (dur)

**Author's Note:**

> First Hamilton fanfic, so please be nice! Updates vary, sometimes it'd be slow and sometimes it'd be immediate. Depends on if I actually know what I'm doing *sweatdrop*
> 
> Anyways hope you enjoy~

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John gets accepted. That's about it

His hands were shaking for a solid 20 minutes. 15 of them from excitement; the rest, well, from complete utter paranoia. _What is my dad gonna think?_ That thought ran through his mind the whole walk over to his father's office. He had to tell him. He couldn't lie about this one. He takes a deep breath and knocks on the door. The rough sound of his father saying "come in," made him shiver, and he pushes the door open.

 

Sitting behind a desk sat Mr. Henry Laurens, and let's just say he was the man that was currently frowned upon by many people, known for his rude sexist and racist remarks. His son however, John Laurens, didn't agree with him. In fact he despised it, he hated everything that had to do with his father. He would never let that show, however, especially in front of him. He played the "daddy's boy" all his life and is quite good at lying, but his father didn't think of him as the "perfect son". Which brings us to this dreadful conversation (on John's side that is).

 

"U-um....s-sir..." He says nervously, not knowing how to start.

 

"Well, what is it? Why have you oh-so-rudely interrupted me while I'm at work?" His father asks, very annoyed.

 

"I...got a letter, and I've been accepted..."

 

"Into what college?" He asks before John finished.

 

"...King's College, in New York." Henry Laurens makes a noise, a noise of disapprovement. John looks up at him, a small feeling of confidence makes him keep going.

 

"Sir, I know you don't approve of this, but I've always wanted to go to New York, and this college has lots of classes in different varieties and amazing teachers and-"

 

"Have any other colleges responded to you? Any others that you've been accepted in?" He interrupts, again.

 

"No..."

 

"The University of Alabama?"

 

"No sir, I was declined..."

 

"Any that involve NOT moving away from South Carolina?"

 

"No sir..."

 

Henry sighs. John fidgets, fumbling with his hands to try and keep himself calm. After a short while of silence Henry slams his hand on the desk, making John flinch.

 

"Alright fine, I will let you go to this school, BUT!" John starts to smile, but it fades after he yells again. "I will pay for your trip there, but you will have to pay for yourself during school, meaning either get a job that you won't be useless in or starve. And I get to sign up classes for you, you will need to have a major in specific classes to become a lawyer,"

 

Back at it with the lawyer stuff. Yep, Henry wants his "pathetic excuse of a son" to be just like him, while John truthfully wants to be a marine biologist. He loved turtles after all. John nods at these conditions.

 

"Yes sir, I understand sir," he says a bit too quickly.

 

"Alright, go pack up now, I want you gone in the morning." He says, and waves his hand at him to usher him out.

 

"Yes sir! I will!" John runs to the door and rushes out, desperate to get back to his room. He makes it with no problem and sighs happily, ignoring the fact that he was a sweaty mess from being so nervous. That happens a lot, so it's normal for him. He takes his suitcase out and packs all the things he needed for college, while daydreaming about what it might be like to have a roommate, to have time to himself and most of all, freedom from his father. Or so he thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there we go! Sorry that was short, I think they're gonna be longer in the future. There's more to come so stick around for more!


	2. I've had frequent meetings with him...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John arrives to NYC, Alex makes an appearance

__The first thing that popped into John Laurens' head after stepping off the plane was, freedom. At long last. His father wasn't always constantly on his back now, he was all the way back in South Carolina while he was up in New York, and boy does he already love it. He makes his way through the airport quickly and steps outside, immediately taking in a deep breath of relief once outside in the cool air. He wasn't a big fan of really crowded places, he was also claustrophobic, so that didn't exactly help much. He looks down at his phone, a map pulled up leading him to the school where he will be told where the dorms are. I guess they wanted everyone to know where the school was first rather than immediately sending them to the dorms.

 

The walk wasn't too long, and John was almost disappointed when arriving to the school. He always enjoyed walks, and he especially loved this walk with the beautiful scenery of New York City just as the sun was beginning to set. He walks inside the school, after looking at it from the outside since he has never been to a school this large before. He goes towards the front desk, noticing another boy was already there. John stopped in his tracks, now noticing that the boy was talking. A LOT.

 

"What do you mean a freshman can't be president of a club?!?! I'm sure I can beat everyone in any debate thrown at me! You want me to show you what I got?! I'll show you what I got and you will be sorry for not letting me run the debate club! I'll show you! I'll get the highest score in the politics class and--" he kept rambling on and on, throwing his hands everywhere while the person behind the desk watches, trying to calm him down occasionally when he'd yell.

 

John wasn't sure whether or not to approach him, this man seemed very interesting however. He was short, and had straight dark hair that fell to his shoulders. Normally it would look strange for boys to have long hair, but as soon as he turned around and John saw his face, he knew it fit him perfectly. He had nothing against boys having long hair however, his father had always gotten on to him for having long bushy hair himself. But this boy in front of him--he had the most beautiful dark locks he had ever seen on a man. His heart fluttered a little, noticing that the boy saw him, but his heart sunk at the look of disgust on his face.

 

"You....I recognize you," he starts, facing John now and forgetting about his argument.

 

"I...what? I don't know you...do I?" John asks, getting a bit nervous and feels his palms getting sweaty already.

 

"No but I know you! You're the son of Henry Laurens, I've seen you on the news!" He yells, glaring at the poor boy.

 

"Oh....." was all John could say. _I should've known..._ He thinks. _These people are older here, and understand politics...they all probably hate my father, I mean who wouldn't?_

 

The boy glares at him, if knives were able to shoot out of glares then John would've been stabbed at least a hundred times already.

 

"I hate you, I hate everything about you and your family. You don't deserve to be here. Don't even try to approach me, _John Laurens_." He says his name with pure venom dripping off of his tongue and he walks past John, roughly brushing against his shoulder.

 

Now at this point, John was terrified. _Was everyone gonna be like this?_ He didn't dare to look behind him at the boy's retreating form. He didn't even get to know his name....

 

He stood there, shaking, staring at everywhere except the person behind the desk, who was also most likely looking at him as if he were trash. _Yep, I'm definitely trash..._ He walks up to the desk, shaking and sweating and wishing he could just leave. He looks up at the lady behind the desk. She smiles at him, and John relaxes a little bit but is still on edge.

 

"E-excuse me, uhm...I don't know what I'm suppose to do, honestly" he laughs nervously while internally scolding himself for being this way.

 

"That's alright, you came to the right place! Here's a map of the school and a map that leads you to dorms. Once you get to the dorms they will also have a desk there and they will give you your key and the name of your roommate," she says, handing him maps as she talks. "Dinner is served to students, in the Commons, you can find that on your map. It starts at 7:30 so you have about an hour to do things," she informs.

 

"Th-thank you very much miss!" John bows a little out of habit, and turns to leave. She seemed nice, but he could tell she had a fake smile on, he can always recognize that since he's done it himself for so long. He didn't wanna think about why she was fake smiling, he could already feel her piercing gaze on his back so he just left quickly. He sighs and looks down at his map, making his way to the dorms.

 

He arrives there quickly, since it isn't that far from the school. He goes to the desk where a man sits, obviously bored. He seemed like a teacher...

 

"Hello, son! What's your name?" He asks, smiling warmly.

 

"Uh......J-John...L..Laurens..." He stutters, watching the man's reaction. But his face didn't change.

 

"John Laurens, eh? That's a nice name, I'm George Washington," he says, looking for his name in a pile of small papers. John watches, surprised that the man didn't react in any way towards his name.

 

The man looks up at him, noticing the surprise on his face, and says, "there's no need to be afraid son, I know who you are and you don't seem like your father," he smiles, and John felt a small feeling of...home. He quietly sighs in relief.

 

"Ah, here it is!" He holds up a sheet of paper. "This has your dorm number and your roommate's name, he already arrived so he has the key," he says.

 

"Thank you very much, sir!" He bows again, making Washington laugh.

 

"No need for formalities! I'm a teacher here, so if you ever need to talk to someone, I'm around, alright?" John nods quickly. All of a sudden there's a yell and a hand slammed on the desk, causing John to visibly flinch away.

 

"WHAT THE ABSOLUTE HELL?! I DEMAND A SWITCH WITH ROOMMATES!" The person yelled, and John didn't even have to look at him to know it was the boy from earlier.

 

"Alexander, calm down! Why do you want a switch?" Washington asks calmly.

 

_So his name is Alexander, huh?_

 

"WHY? OH I'LL TELL YOU WHY! I DON'T WANNA BE ROOMED WITH THE LIKES OF HIM!" He points at John. _Wait...what?_ He looks down at the sheet and sure enough the name on there read "Alexander Hamilton".

 

He was rooming with the one person that hates him more than his own father does. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp, this isn't going well! I feel bad for John, but I'm also part evil so >:)
> 
> I would like to give some credit to my friend/moirail who helped me with a few things, such as Alex's first dialogue where he was arguing ;) kudos it her~
> 
> Next chapter will be up soon!


	3. I'm willing to wait for it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't wanna give stuff away... WARNING: very sad stuff and (possible) triggering things, read at your own risk! Nothing too serious though

John takes a deep breath. _It's okay, it's okay, it's okay..._

  
"IT'S NOT OKAY!" Alexander yells at Washington, and John jumps a little at his yelling.

  
"Son, listen--"

  
"Don't call me son--"

  
"Look, I can't change it, so you're just gonna have to deal with it, alright? You don't even have to talk to each other the whole time!" Washington suggests.

  
"Pff, 'deal with it', I can't DEAL with having to live with him for the next _year_ , I'd rather DUEL with him," he says, fire in his eyes.

  
 _Duel? Didn't they do that in revolutionary times?_ John keeps his eyes glued to the floor, focusing on controlling his breathing and his shaking. _It's okay, it's okay, it's okay..._

  
"Alright...I'll talk to whoever's in charge, but I can't guarantee it! Even if I do figure it out for you, you will still have to room with him for a while," Washington says, sighing.

  
Alexander glares at John again, who in turn looks at him nervously. They hold that gaze for a while before finally John looks back down and Alexander scoffs, and stomps back up the stairs. By now it was surprising to John that he wasn't on the brink of tears, yet.

  
"I'm sorry about that...Alexander takes politics very seriously," Washington says, feeling bad for John.

  
"....I...it's alright....I don't need pity..." John says nervously, and he takes his luggage and pushes the up button on the elevator. _It's okay, it's okay, it's okay..._

  
"Alright...your room is on the 3rd floor, down the hall to your right, number 413. I hope to see you again, John." He smiles at him, and John can't help but to smile back, but just a little. The elevator doors open and he steps inside, pushing the button for the 3rd floor. As much as he hated small enclosed spaces such as elevators, it was better than having to take half an hour struggling to carry luggage up three flights of stairs. As long as the elevator didn't get stuck he would be fine.

  
He arrived at the 3rd floor and he makes his way down the right hallway. He sees Alexander standing outside of the door, cursing.

  
"Why the _fuck_ would I be so stupid to lock myself out..." Was one of the phrases that John caught from his endless muttering. Alexander looks up at John, glaring again.

  
"I'm only gonna let you stay here if you can get this door open!" He declares, crossing his arms and most likely thinking that he wouldn't. He thought wrong.

  
John takes a little hair pin out of his pocket--he always had extras with him to fix his little sister's hair whenever they were out. He bends it a certain way and sticks it inside the lock, twisting and turning it. It takes a little longer from his hands shaking, and feeling the glares that Alexander gives him behind his back, but it eventually clicks and he opens it.

  
Alexander scoffs again, he was hoping he didn't know how to do that. He pushes past John, going inside.

  
"Don't think I'm gonna suddenly like you because of that," he says, and John couldn't help but notice a small tint of pink on his cheeks from embarrassment about locking them out. "I'm not gonna thank you either. That's your side of the room, don't touch any of my stuff or I'll kill you," he says, pointing to a bed and a desk. "I'm going to dinner, don't try looking for me because I am NOT letting you sit with me. _Hell_ no," he says and without another word he slams the door shut.

_It's okay, it's okay, it's okay...._

 

John sighs, this isn't what he imagined at all. He looks around, there were two beds to the right and then to the left was a little couch area, with a little kitchen connected to it. It wasn't bad, the only thing bad about it was how dim it was, everything was gray-like colors and he didn't like how it perfectly matched his mood currently. He noticed a window beside the bed Alexander said was his, so at least he was able to look out that. The beautiful sight of New York was there, this time it was sunset so the sky was painted with shades of pink, purple, blue and orange while the city was lit up. Definitely picture-worthy, but too bad the cameras on phones suck.

  
John puts his suitcase on the bed, deciding to unpack later. School won't start until in a few days, so he'll have time before then. He goes into the small bathroom they have-- great, we're gonna have to share a super small bathroom too...

  
He looks at himself in the mirror, taking his messy ponytail out and putting it back up, making it seem neater than it was. He then splashes his face with cold water, and then stares at his reflection. His fist tightens, and is almost tempted to punch the reflection there, but doesn't. Instead, he _smiles_. That same fake smile that seemed to fool everyone. He dries his face off and leaves the bathroom, grabbing a hoodie from his suitcase and throwing it on, then leaving the room.

  
When he gets to the main floor, Washington is still there and he waves at him. John nods quickly and leaves, stuffing his hands in the large pocket of his hoodie. He goes back to the school, following some other kids who were also going to the commons for dinner. When he arrived, it was crowded. Something he hated. He makes his way through the crowd, avoiding eye contact with anyone and everyone, and he gets to the food table. After filling only half his plate up with not much food, he looks for a place to sit. He spots Alexander, talking with a large group of people. Part of him wished he could join them, wished he would have friends...

  
John shakes his head, going towards the group but not to sit with them. There just so happened to be an empty area right by them. He passed Alexander, earning a glare from him and a glare from a few other kids sitting with him, he could feel it like always. He sat down at the empty table.

_It's okay, it's okay, it's okay..._

  
He starts eating slowly, biting into an apple. He felt eyes on him, he felt like everyone in the whole room was watching him and his every move.

 

_It's okay, it's okay...._

  
He pulls his hood up, and continues to eat his apple.

 

  
_It's okay, it's okay..._

 

  
He glances in every direction, seeing multiple people look away, and others oblivious to his existence. He felt self conscious, he started shaking again.

 

  
_It's okay...._

 

  
He couldn't concentrate on anything, all the conversations his ears were picking up echoed in his mind. He heard Alexander arguing, who was arguing about him....kids were looking at him weird, or was that his mind playing tricks on him?

  
_It's...._

  
He couldn't take it anymore. He picks up his tray, throws out the food he didn't eat, and pushes through the crowd. He had to get out, _he had to get out..._

  
By the time he made it out he was a mess. Panting, shaking, sweating... He started pacing back and forth, _back and forth_. Tears had now been threatening to fall, and he kept his face hidden in his hood. His arms wrapped around himself, he paced for what seemed like hours. This is exactly why he hates crowds.... Suddenly, someone tapped him on the shoulder. He jumped, quickly turning their way.

  
"Hey...you okay?" They asked.

  
John looked around, multiple thoughts running through his mind. _What do I say? I can't tell them I'm not okay, I'm just fine! They don't care. I'm hidden behind the hood, they don't know who I am. If they knew they wouldn't care. Run. Run away._

  
He did the one thing that stood out the most-- _run_. He broke into a sprint, running and panting away from the person. They called out to him but he kept running. He kept running and running...

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *hugs John and gives him 50 turtles* I'm so sorryyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
> 
> Wait For It pretty much describes how he feels right now so ya
> 
> Hope you liked it! Next chapter will be Alex and the group's perspective!!!


	4. Rewind...rewind...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We give the spotlight to Alex and the group~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is some French in here, so here's the translations~ (via Google translate because I dont speak. Like I can't even speak English right, I can't English, no one can English)
> 
> monsieur petit lion--Mister small lion (lol sounds weird in English but good in French, ya know?)
> 
> "Mon nom est Alexander Hamilton, quel est votre nom, un grand et beau?"--My name is Alexander Hamilton, what is your name, tall and handsome one?
> 
> J'appris le français pendant trois ans! Je suis maintenant couramment en elle--I learned French for three years! I am now fluent in it
> 
> Mon ami--My friend

**Let's rewind back to the moment when Alexander left John to go to the Commons for dinner...**

 

As Alexander left the room, he growled. "Why did I have to be roomed with _him_ of all people?!" He mutters to himself. He stomps downstairs, shooting a glare at Washington who just looks very tired and a bit disappointed at his action. Alex rolls his eyes and makes his way to the Commons, getting there shortly since he was speed-walking while internally complaining, as per usual. His eyes light up at the sight of the room, and all the food and people.

 

"Wow...its huge!" He says aloud, smiling like a dork. He hears a laugh from behind him.

 

"Yeah~ it is quite..uh...how do you say... _outstanding_!" Someone with a very thick French accent says, wrapping an arm around Alex. "What is your name, _monsieur petit lion_?"

 

Alex blushes at the nickname, for he is also fluent in French. He smirks, deciding to impress this new friend.

 

" _Mon nom est Alexander Hamilton, quel est votre nom, un grand et beau_?"

 

The Frenchman gasps, "you speak _français_?" They ask excitedly.

 

Alex nods proudly, " _J'appris le français pendant trois ans! Je suis maintenant couramment en elle,"_

 

"That's outstanding! My name is very long, so please call me Lafayette, or just Laf is preferred. I use they/them pronouns, if that is alright..." They look away a bit.

 

"Hey man, that's awesome! I use he/him pronouns, but my love interests is as straight as a rainbow, if you know what I mean," he winks. Laf smiles.

 

"You must come meet my...uh...comrade?" They guess.

 

"Laf, its _roommate_ ," someone corrects them, chuckling a little and standing beside Laf.

 

"Aaaaaah, _Oui Oui_!!!"

 

The other man turns to Alex and introduces himself. "I'm Hercules Mulligan, call me Herc. Seriously though, it's not a suggestion..he/him pronouns!" He holds his hand out.

 

Alexander shakes it. "Alexander Hamilton, or just Alex, he/him! Um...may I sit with you guys? I don't have any friends," he asks, and laughs nervously.

 

"Of course! You can join our.....squad!" Laf says, dragging Alex over to a table with Hercules following. They sit down, Alex in the middle with Laf and Herc sitting on either side of him.

 

"No friends, eh? Don't like your roommate or somethin'?" Herc asks.

 

" 'Don't like' is an understatement! I _hate_ the guy!" Alex exclaims, letting his rage show. "I wish he were dead!"

 

"Woah woah no violence, _mon ami_! Who is it that you speak of?" Laf asks, waving their hands around a little.

 

"The son of Henry Laurens...." Alex growls. The other two stay silent.

 

"....John Laurens, eh.....he's horrible.." Laf says, looking down at the table. Herc pats Alex on the back, "you can come stay with us whenever you want to get away from him," he offers. Alex smiles, "thanks Herc!"

 

The room starts to get more crowded as more and more students flood in. Alex and Laf had gotten up to get food while Herc saved their seats when they bump into a few familiar faces.

 

"Well if it isn't Aaron Burr, Sir!"

 

Aaron Burr, the most intelligent at Alex's school, he would've been the second behind Alex, if Alex had turned in his work like he was suppose to. So let's say they had a friend/foe kind of relationship.

 

"Alexander Hamilton, didn't know you would come to a high-quality school like this," he responds smoothly, getting food and acting like he didn't really care much.

 

"Hey I'm smart! And this year I'll be working hard, this year I've changed! I'm not the stupid teenager you know me as back in high school, I'm gonna do my work and I'm gonna do it on time or even EARLY!" Alex yells/half-argues.

 

"Hmm, good luck," Aaron says, and proceeds to get food. Alex goes back to Laf, who is talking to a group of three girls. They all wore different colors, one wearing a long pink summer dress and slightly high-heeled shoes, one wearing a shorter blue summer dress with flats, and the third wearing a yellow shirt and shorts, with tall socks and converse shoes.

 

"Hey Alex! This is the Schuyler Sisters!" Laf says. "Thats Angelica, that's Eliza, and that's Peggy!" They introduce them respectively. "Us two go by she/her pronouns, but Peggy goes by they/them pronouns," Eliza says with a bright smile.

 

"It is nice to meet you all, my name is Alexander Hamilton! Please call me Alex," he bows like a gentleman, earning a few giggles from the three. "Would you like to come sit with us?"

 

The three nod and everyone gets their plates filled up with food and sit back down with Herc. Laf gives Herc a plate full of food. "Thanks," he says, and everyone starts eating after introducing Herc to the girls. Everyone was chatting about random topics, when a man comes over to the table.

 

"Well well well~! Look who we have here!" He says smiling.

 

"Thomas Jefferson," Alex says back, "you've changed! What's up with that weird-ass purple suit?"

 

"Speak for yourself, green is not a creative color!" He snarls back. Peggy giggles at the reference. "Anyways, I just wanted to tell you how I'm joining the debate club, and by next year I will become the _president_ of it! You may join too if you'd like, if you have the desire to be crushed by me!"

 

"Blah blah blah, shut up Thomas, we both know that you've never won a debate with me in your life!" Alex snaps back. Everyone does their " _ooooo_ "s.

 

"That's all gonna be different when I see you on the floor next week! See you then~" he flips his hair and walks away.

 

"Who was that, _mon ami_?" Laf asks.

 

"That was Thomas Jefferson, he is obsessed with trying to beat me in a debate! Let's just say we aren't friends at all! He's another guy I hate!" Alex says, and spots a certain someone walk by the table. Everyone in the group fall silent as they watch the boy walk by, looking down at his nearly empty tray, and sitting by himself at a table nearby with his hood pulled up and covering his face.

 

"It's him...." Laf says, making Herc now understand who it is.

 

"It's John Laurens..I've seen him on tv," Angelica comments.

 

"He's so racist and _horrible_! He wants gender-neutral people to be..." Eliza trails off, and looks at Peggy. "Don't talk to him, alright? If he found out you were gender neutral who knows what he'll do to you," she hugs Peggy in a protective way. Peggy glances at the boy, feeling a bit guilty and sad for him.

 

"He's the worst guy to ever exist on this planet! I hate him, I hate him so much! How dare he look down upon us like that, we don't do anything wrong!" Alex starts ranting, and continues to while the others nod in agreement. Eventually they see John abruptly stand up, throw away the small dinner he didn't eat and pushes through everyone, trying to get out quickly. Alex keeps ranting, while the others exchange glances to each other.

 

**We are gonna hop on over to Thomas for just a short bit....**

 

Even though he didn't sit at the table, he overheard Alex's ranting, and watches the boy sitting at the empty table. He watched him get up suddenly and leave, while Alex didn't even bat an eye. _He must have overheard..._

 

He started to wonder if John Laurens was even that bad of a person, Alexander did tend to overreact. Alex even calls _him_ a bad person, based on all the debates they'd have. But he wasn't a bad person, Alex just didn't see it....

 

Thomas finishes eating and throws away his tray, and goes outside to go back to the dorms. As he walked out, however, he saw him. John Laurens. Except this wasn't the same John Laurens on tv...his hood was pulled even further over his eyes, he was pacing back and forth while hugging himself. He was shaking and panting...something was wrong. Thomas hesitated at first, but then he tapped the boy's shoulder, making him jump away and face him.

 

"Hey...you okay?" Thomas asks, clearly worried. John looks around frantically, then suddenly breaks out into a run in the opposite direction.

 

"Hey, wait! John!" Thomas calls, but he kept running faster and faster. He sighs, and starts walking back to the dorms. He couldn't help but think back to that event, and how he caught a glimpse of the boy's face just as he turned around to run.

 

His expression was of fear, pure _fear_ , and Thomas also noticed how his eyes were glazed over and a tear fell as he turned his back and ran. He had never seen fear on someone's face like that, and it will certainly be an image that he would not forget for a long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There we go! Sorry it took a little longer to update, I kinda was nervous that I'd screw the personalities up but then I was like "ya know what? It doesn't matter!" So ya. I honestly don't really know what the next chapter will bring yet so I would probably not expect another immediate update. 
> 
> Until next time~!


	5. He will never be satisfied

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John and Alexander argue. That's about it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So so sorry for the long wait! I had zero ideas...this one is super short because of that, sorry again! But I have an idea for the next one so hopefully it won't be as bad and not as long as a wait! Hope you like! (Oh and the title of this chapter is referring to Alexander)
> 
> WARNING: DEPRESSIVE THOUGHTS MENTIONED AT ONE POINT, MAY BE SAD AND POSSIBLY TRIGGERING

He kept running. Where? Who knows. But somewhere that wasn't crowded, and full of people who knew of him. He ran and ran, and the perfect place to run to ended up being an empty park in the dark. He stopped, panting and sweating and his mind all over the place. He wasn't sure where he was exactly, all he knew was that it was dark, and he was alone.

 

John sat on a swing, rocking forwards and backwards a little while trying to keep himself together. His breathing and heart rate slowed to a normal pace, and he wasn't exactly sweating anymore but he shivered every once and a while. He calmed down more, and sighed.

 

_Everyone hates me...if only I can prove to them that I'm not like him! ....they'll never listen, what's the point...everyone would just be better off without me..._

 

He shakes his head after that thought.

 

_No. I am not gonna think like that, there's a reason I'm here! There has to be! I'll just have to wait for it, and when it comes everything will be better!_

 

This is what John usually does, he would first say something extreme but then try to think positively, even though he still had that feeling deep down that he was right the first time. After composing himself for a bit, he stands up from the swing and makes his way back to the dorms. When he arrives at his dorm room, he pauses in front of it for a bit, listening to see if Alexander was in there. He takes a deep breath and goes in.

 

Alexander sat at his desk on his respected side of the room, typing away at lightning speed. John goes to his side and takes his suitcase out from under the bed, and begins to unpack. Alexander doesn't bother to look at him, his expression a mix of concentration and anger. He mutters things to himself as he's typing. As John unpacks he notices how Alexander also packed a small amount of items, like him. If they were on good terms he would've pointed it out but obviously they were not. At all.

 

John finishes unpacking his own small variety of items and he sits on his bed. Alexander growls at the laptop and types faster. John looks at him, confused, and tempted to ask what was going on. Alexander ends up slamming the laptop shut and paces on his side of the room. John averts his eyes away, but it was too late. "Why do you keep looking at me?!" Alexander says, his voice raised from working himself up over...who knows what.

 

"W-well...just wondering what you were getting angry about this time.." He instantly regretted talking.

 

" 'this time'??? What, you think I have anger issues?! Well why not just say it to my face!"

 

This time, John stood up, glaring at the kid in front of him. "Why are you always angry at me?! I did nothing at all to you! Why don't you just listen to what I have to say--"

 

"No I've seen enough already before even meeting you! You think you can gain my trust and friendship just by telling a little story that can be a complete _lie_?! No!"

 

"You don't know anything about me! You _think_ you do but you _don't_! It's fine if you hate me but the least you can do is to not always argue at me and say things about me behind my back! Yes I heard what you were saying back at dinner, and I have something to say--have you ever considered that I have feelings too?!" John was close to tears by now, which Alexander didn't notice through his own anger. But for once in his life--Alexander didn't know how to respond immediately. He hesitated, which he never does, and when he came up with a response, it was,

 

"I should ask the same for you, you have no heart."

 

John was shaking, his anxiety was clouded over with anger, but he didn't know what to do. He couldn't hurt him...he couldn't just stand there either. So, he proceeds to grab a sketchbook and walks to the door, gripping the handle tightly. As he leaves, he says one more thing to him.

 

"Learn to give people a _chance_ before judging them,"

 

He slams the door shut. Alexander growls, also tempted to punch something, but he ends up sitting back down at his laptop and opening it up, then continues what he was doing before.

 

As for John, he stormed down to the first floor, and sat on the bottom step. He takes a deep breath and opens his sketchbook. Inside were a few pages of random sketches he did of interesting places, but they weren't be best since he can't do landscapes as well as people. And--turtles. There had to be at least ten pages of amazing turtle sketches, all of various types. This was his favorite thing to draw to escape from what was around him. He loves turtles. He sketched for about an hour, earning a few glances from others who would pass by. When he goes back to his room, Alexander hadn't moved from his spot. John gets in his bed and closes his eyes, glad that he didn't acknowledge his arrival. After what seemed like forever, he fell into a restless sleep.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeeeaaaahhhhh that was kinda bad, maybe that should be like a filler chapter (whatever filler chapters are). I give credit to my best friend+moirail for giving me the idea to have them argue about something, because I was ranting to her about having no ideas.
> 
> Also! If anyone has any ideas or things they'd like to see in the future, please comment them! All ideas are most likely gonna be used because I don't plan very well. Also, if anyone has any title suggestions for this fanfic please comment that too because I really need to change it and I, again, have zero ideas. Thanks so much!!! <3


	6. The Story of Tonight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things take a turn for the good <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not much to say about this one except I hope you enjoy!!! :) Also wanted to say thanks to "S" (I can't tag people or anything :-/) for suggesting a new title for this fanfic which was "The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot" and it's a brilliant idea and I wanted to use it! So special thanks to them ;)

**A couple of weeks later...**

  
Classes have already started, but things still weren't going well for John. Due to his anxiety of crowds he always felt like everyone was watching him, and all he could think about each day was to get through the day. Alexander backed off a little from the arguing, but that still didn't mean he wouldn't still glare at him. The intimidating aura Alexander gave off always made John cower away from trying to explain to him that he wasn't like his father. He just couldn't do it...

  
Right now, John is sitting in his final class, watching the clock tick as the class was almost over, meaning the day was also over. As soon as the bell rang he ran out, looking down at the ground to avoid eye contact. But he didn't know that this action would be the start of things changing.

  
As he made his way through the hallway, he bumped into someone's shoulder on accident. He looked up to apologize but was surprised to see that the person wasn't glaring at him or mad at all. They were _smiling_?

  
They backed up into another person, who got mad and pushed them down, making them drop their books. The other person walked off as if nothing had happened.

  
John's immediate reaction was to go help them out and apologize.

  
"I'm so sorry, that wouldn't have happened if I was just looking up..." He says quickly, a part of him not even sure why he even bothered to apologize. The response he got answered that for him.

  
"It's alright, he was a mean person anyways! You're super nice though, to help me out," they said.

  
John looks up at them. They wore a yellow tshirt, white shorts and socks, and yellow converse shoes. "U-um...d-do you know who I am?" He asks nervously.

  
"Of course I do, you're John Laurens! I'm Peggy Schuyler, I use they/them pronouns please," they say, smiling.

  
_Smiling..._

  
"Alright, I'll remember that! Um...can I ask you something?" He says shyly.

  
"Anything!"

  
"Why are you being so nice to me..? It's not that I don't like it, but...no one's ever nice to me, except for Mr. Washington but he's an adult.." he admits.

  
"Well that's because nobody gives you a chance!" They say, and place a hand on his shoulder. "You don't seem like the person everyone says you are, and I've actually been waiting for the moment when I finally got to meet you and be friends with you!"

  
_Friends...._

  
"....well, it's nice to finally meet you, Peggy!" He says, and for the first time in almost a month, he smiled.

  
They smile back. "Do you wanna go somewhere private?" They ask, taking their books and standing up.

  
"Y-yeah, I know a place!" He says, and they walk out of the school together, not knowing that a certain someone's sisters were watching the two worriedly, and also curiously.

  
They make their way to the park that John would go to often. "I found this park before school started, no one ever comes here anymore," he says as he sits on a swing. Peggy sits beside him on the other swing.

  
"It's nice!!!" They say happily. "So...what are your beliefs towards politics and stuff?"

  
John frowns. "Well, I'm not the best in that stuff so I don't really have any opinions! But, if you're talking about my dad and stuff, I'm totally against all that he says. I fully support LGBT people, because..." he looks down, not believing that he's actually confessing this to a person whom he met only an hour ago. "I'm one of them. I'm gay,"

  
"Wow, I understand why you're always super upset and reserved then! Everyone thinks you're your father when you're pretty much the opposite! Does your father know about this?" Peggy asks.

  
"No, if he found out he'd kick me out of the family! Or worse..." he tightens his fists, trying to control his slight shaking. "If I'm ever on camera with him I pretend to agree with him so that he doesn't murder me in front of millions of people. But it doesn't matter, I'm his least favorite son...he doesn't love me, _no one_ does..."

  
"Don't say that," Peggy says with a slight stern tone, making John look up at them.

  
"Don't ever say no one loves you! I barely know you and I love you! Well, as a friend of course but you know what I mean! No offense but if you try to explain yourself I don't think anyone would listen to you, so...I'm gonna try to convince people that you're different! No, I won't just try, I _WILL_ do it! You aren't alone anymore, you have me now," they smile warmly at him. John stares at them with wide eyes, his vision getting blurry with tears. But these weren't the sad tears he was all too familiar with, these were tears of joy, tears of relief...

  
"Thank you, thank you so much!" He gets up and hugs them tightly, and they hug back while lightly rubbing circles on his back.

  
The two continue to chat about little things, such as their favorite color or animal or hobbies they like to do. They whole time they were both laughing and smiling and not paying attention to the fact that it had eventually gotten pretty dark.

  
"We should head back now," John says, and offers Peggy a hand, who gladly takes it. They walk back to the dorms while laughing and talking, and when they arrive they go to their respected rooms. John couldn't help but smile the whole way there, even though Peggy had left to go to her room on the first floor.

  
As he enters his room he spots a pile of mail on Alexander's desk, and a single letter on his own desk. He approaches the letter, already knowing who it's from--his father. He stashes it away in one of the drawers. No, he wasn't gonna let anyone ruin this night for him. That night was the first time in who knows how long since John felt like he had a friend. The first time he felt like he was loved and wanted by someone.

  
The first time he felt happy.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There ya go! More thanks to my moirail for the idea of how John and Peggy were actually gonna meet <3 I'm so happy John is happy now! I hope you guys don't hate me for making it all sad and stuff...it's still gonna have lots of sad moments in the future but it's also gonna have more happy and fluffy stuff so don't worry and please don't kill me *hides* will be updated soon!


	7. I gotta holler just to be heard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peggy being an awesome smol bean

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I first wanted to thank you all for OVER 70 KUDOS??? AND OVER 700 HITS? Dang, I didn't know that people would actually like this which is why I was surprised and also extremely grateful and super happy when I saw people commenting too <3 thank you all so much!!! Here's the next (awesome (hopefully)) chapter~ Hope you guys like!

A couple of weeks have passed since that day, and it was the best two weeks John has ever had. He and Peggy talked a lot, they were always together but not in a couple way. It was more like Peggy would be his protector from those who try to even glare at him or speak to him. He was grateful, but was slightly guilty about it. When he'd mention this Peggy waved it off like it was nothing, and he'd smile.

  
One day, the two walked together to the commons for lunch, and Eliza and Angelica were waiting for them. Well--waiting for Peggy. As the two walked in they immediately pulled their sibling aside and led them to their own table, leaving John behind. Peggy shot him an apologetic look before turning to their sisters.

  
"What are you doing?" They ask.

  
"No, what are _you_ doing?!" Eliza says back. "Why are you hanging out with him?!"

  
"Because, he's my friend!" They say back, getting a little angry.

  
"How can you be _friends_ with him?! He hates people like us!" Eliza says roughly, "he could hurt you!" She says with a more concerned tone, placing a hand on top of Peggy's.

  
"We don't want you to see him anymore, you are not allowed!" Angelica backs her up, also placing a hand on their arm. Peggy looks at John, who sat down alone at the table he would sit at everyday, and Peggy would be there too if it weren't for their sisters' attitude. They abruptly stand up, ripping her arm away from the two now-shocked sisters.

  
"You don't understand! Neither of you do! You don't know him, but I do! Why are you judging him? Haven't you ever considered that he may be completely the opposite of what you're thinking?! And maybe, for once, that you're wrong?!" They glare at them, as much as it hurts them to yell at their siblings like that. But, they knew that they had to for them to understand.

  
Eliza and Angelica look at each other, before looking back up at Peggy--or, where Peggy once was. They had made their way back to John, who looked at them and smiled, relieved that he wasn't gonna be alone again.

  
"Eliza...maybe we should try to have Alex talk to them," Angelica suggests.

  
"...i don't want Peggy to get hurt emotionally from _him,_ " Eliza responds while looking at the two across the room. "...so we have to try," she agrees, looking at the two talking and laughing. But something deep down inside told Eliza that Peggy may be right--that maybe they should give him a chance.

  
As Alexander came over, Eliza and Angelica explained the situation and he agreed to talk to Peggy after school, privately. They were sure that if anyone could win in an argument, it was him.

  
The end of the day rolled around quickly and Alexander spotted Peggy walking outside the school. He quickly caught up to them.

  
"Hey Peggy! Uhm...you wanna grab a coffee with me?" He asks, pretending that everything was fine.

  
"Sure! I can't stay long though, I need to help John with—"

  
"Perfect let's go!" He grabs onto their hand and pulls them towards a Starbucks. Peggy was confused about his behavior but they shrug it off.

  
They arrive at Starbucks and order their coffees and sit down, chatting like normal until eventually Alexander clears his throat.

  
"Okay, the reason why I brought you here...you've been spending a lot of time with John Laurens lately," he says. Peggy rolls their eyes and growls.

  
"You're here to tell me why I shouldn't hang out with him then?"

  
"Peggy, this is serious! Have you gone out of your freaking mind?! Have you _seen_ the news ever?! Have you seen his family, their beliefs?! They hate people like you! They hate people like _us_! The only reason why he may seem nice right now is because he's most likely using you for something! I don't want you getting hurt," he argues sincerely, staring into their eyes. "He's going to turn on you, I guarantee it!"

  
Peggy grasps onto their coffee cup tightly, their face getting red, but they take a deep breath and suppress the anger. "You sound just like my sisters..." They say. Alexander gives them a questioning look.

  
"You guys...do you even know what you're saying anymore? Something tells me that the reason why you're acting this way towards him is because you want to believe that's the kind of person he is,"

  
"Well—"

  
"Think about it. A man that you're describing him as is someone who would not be afraid to state their beliefs, someone who would constantly try to attack us. Have you seen him do that? Name one time that he attacked you, or one of us," they state, crossing their arms.

  
Alexander opens his mouth, but then closes it and frowns.

  
"I thought so. Whether you like it or not, you only want to believe that's what he is like, don't you?"

  
Alexander's lips press together in a thin line, not wanting to admit that statement to be true. Peggy smiles and places their hand on his gently.

  
"Just give him a chance. He's your roommate after all, at least try to talk to him and listen to what he has to say. Don't speak before thinking," they say in a comforting tone. Alexander looks down, his ego not wanting to believe it, but he ends up sighing in defeat and nodding. "Alright, I will..."

  
Peggy smiles. "Finally," they say, before their face falls to a worried expression and they frantically search for their phone. "Oh no what time is it?" They get their phone and check the time. "Oh no..."

  
"What's the matter?" Alexander asks.

  
"I was suppose to meet up with John to do something...I missed it, but he texted saying he'd do it on his own, so I guess I don't have to,"

  
"Do what?"

  
They look up and stuff the phone in their pocket. "Nothing, don't worry about it. I'll see you later, okay?" They say with a small smile and a wave as they walk out while throwing away their empty Starbucks cup.

  
Alexander waves back and stays for a little longer, thinking about their conversation and what he was gonna do next. After a little while he leaves and goes back to the dorms.

  
He goes to the third floor and to his room, he opens the door but then stops in his tracks when he sees a figure on the floor, curled up in a ball by the foot of his bed and crying.

  
".....Laurens?"

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay okay next chapter will be better I promise! May have a bit of fluff too. So yaaaaa there we go...
> 
> Sorry if it was short! It seems short to me but I can't really make it longer so I'm sorry :-| I tried
> 
> Comments are always welcome (I love to know what people's thoughts are on my writing) and I'll update soon! <3


	8. Forgiveness...can you imagine?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You'll see~ (not giving anything away >:) )

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay soooooo...I just couldn't wait to write the next chapter and couldn't have you guys wait too long on the cliffhanger so here it is~!!!
> 
> WARNING: there is brief dialogue that alludes to suicide/depression, if this makes you uncomfortable please don't read, I will place stars (****) before and after the paragraph so you know what to skip. Again it's very brief, like one paragraph so you won't be missing anything. I don't want anyone to hurt themselves over this fanfic

"......Laurens?"

  
Said boy looks up quickly. He looked horrible--his eyes were red and puffy, his face stained with layers of salt and water, his hair sticking up out of his ponytail everywhere. _How long was he like this_?

  
Alexander stood there, having no idea what to do. He didn't expect this to happen. He opened his mouth to say something but John spoke first.

  
"Don't look at me..." He hides his face, shutting his eyes tightly as more tears roll down his face and stain his pants wet.

  
".....Laurens–"

  
"I said don't look at me!" He gets up and runs to the bathroom like a scared child, slamming the door shut and locking it, before letting out another pain-filled sob.

  
Alexander's mind was blank. He felt confused, and a slight bit of sadness...he knew he had to do something. He then spots something on the floor. It was a piece of paper, he picked it up and saw that it was a letter. He reads who it was from. _Mr. Henry Laurens...._

  
_Henry Laurens...._

  
John must've known that he had it because he suddenly said from the bathroom,

  
"Don't read it! Please, d-don't read it..." He practically begs in between sobs, but is refusing to leave the bathroom to retrieve it. Alexander looks back and forth from the letter and the bathroom door. He sighs and sets the letter down, then approaches the door. John continues to sob inside. As soon as he was about to say something he hears John mutter to himself, the words he hears making him gasp and frantically starts searching for something to say.

********  
"I don't wanna be here....I want to disappear...please make me disappear...." John mutters and pants heavily, holding onto his head and pulling on his hair while plugging his ears as if he was trying to block himself from the world. He scans the bathroom for anything that might grant his wish--until he hears a voice from the other side of the door, sounding almost desperate to get to him.

*********

  
"Listen, so...I know I'm probably the last person who you wanted to see you in this state.....and I'm not exactly the best at comforting...so...i'll just start off with this, please hear me out," Alexander says, pausing a bit to see if John would respond. The only response he got was his panting quieting down a little, indicating that he was listening. He sits down, leaning up against the door, and keeps going,

  
"I had a talk with Peggy...and...I've come to a realization of how much of an asshole I've been towards you. I feel kinda guilty about it honestly, and at first when they said you were different I didn't believe them completely, but now that I saw _this_..." He paused, finding the right words to say. "....I think I believe now. Or, I at least believe that you aren't a heartless person like I thought you were. I....I judged you too soon...and I'm sorry....I don't apologize often so you better accept it," he laughs a little, and doesn't hear anything behind the door. He continues,

  
"I hope I'm not the reason this is happening, I don't really blame you if it was...but..." He looks at the letter. "I feel like it's from this letter here. As much as I want to know what's happening, I won't read it, I bet it's a personal matter that you don't want anyone knowing. I understand," he looks over his shoulder at the door again. "This must've been what Peggy meant when they said they had something to do with you. I'm sorry, it's my fault they aren't here right now, they'd probably be much better at comforting than me!" He laughs again. "So...when you calm down...you can tell me anything you want, and I'll listen this time. I won't say anything, or I'll try not to. Does that sound alright?" He asks, hoping that everything's alright in there.

  
After a moment of silence, there's a click from the door and it opens just a tad. Alexander stands up and smiles at John, who was peeking out from behind the door. After seeing his smile, he opens it more and steps out shyly, looking at the ground and back up at him occasionally. Alexander wraps an arm around John's shoulder and leads him to his bed, sitting down beside him.

  
"So...speak your mind!" Alexander says, smiling softly. John takes a shaky breath.

  
"Well....th-this isn't your fault, not entirely...but...I-I've wanted to tell you that I'm not like my father! All his political views...I hate them, and I'm totally against his beliefs. On camera, y-you say you see me up there smiling and agreeing with him as part of your evidence, which I'm honestly not sure if I should take that as a compliment or not because I was faking it the whole time. I fooled you," he laughs a little, "at least I'm good at one thing...." He looks down. "Anyways, I did that so that my father would be proud of me, but truthfully I fully support LGBT people, and I believe black and white people should be united and not divided like he says and...I'm not like him...people think I am but I'm not, I'm pretty much the opposite," he looks at Alexander, who nods and takes in the information.

  
"And I should also mention that...I'm one of you guys, my father doesn't know this but..I'm gay..." He avoids eye contact while saying this. Alexander's heart skipped a beat when he heard that.

  
"I am too..." He says, almost whispering, making John blink and look at him. _He's gay too? I didn't know..._ He smiles a little at the thought of being roommates with a guy who is also into guys like he is.

  
"I...I realize now how wrong I was about you, and I'm sorry, for lashing out at you..I shouldn't have, I have a habit of shooting off at the mouth, not thinking before speaking, I talk too much! ....is there anything I can do to repay you?" He says hopefully.

  
John thinks for a moment.

  
"....can you...be my friend..?" he asks, staring down at the ground nervously again and fumbling with his thumbs. Alexander smiles and puts a hand on John's shoulder, making him look up.

  
"I'll be your friend, John Laurens."

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eeeeeEEEEEEE FINALLY WE'RE AT THIS POINT!!!! THEY'RE FRIENDS NOW~ *parties* 
> 
> okay thank you for the comments and kudos and OMG THAT DRAWING OF PEGGY IM IN LOVE YOU JUST MADE LIKE MY WHOLE WEEK THANK YOU (you know who you are ;) ) and if anyone wants to check it out because it's an AMAZING PIECE OF ART, here's the link:   
> http://nicolors42.tumblr.com/post/148563526323/protective-peggy-from-ch-7-of-the-boy-who-blocked
> 
> Next chapter will be up soon!!! <3 more feedback is always welcome because I like to know if I'm doing a good job XD


	9. Tomorrow there'll be more of us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John meets the rest of the group, and one extra person...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the next one!!! Hope you like~  
> OH AND THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR 100 KUDOS LIKE I AM SO HAPPY ABOUT THIS YOU HAVE NOOOO IDEA! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!
> 
> TRANSLATION:  
> • Alexander , mon ami ... pourquoi est-il ici?  
> \--Alexander, my friend...why is he here?

> "Hey...Alexander?"

  
"Just call me Alex,"

  
"Oh, okay..."

  
The two were walking together down the stairs, on their way to breakfast in the commons. John had always skipped breakfast but Alexander wanted him to meet his friends, so he tagged along this morning.

  
"So, Alex....what if they don't like me?"

  
"Want me to be honest?"

  
"Yeah.."

  
Alexander stops and faces John.

  
"They're probably not gonna like you at first, they'll think I'm insane but I don't want you to run away if they yell at you. Me and Peggy are gonna talk to them and most likely they'll let you in!!! Don't worry about it," he smiles at the end, making John feel a little better.

  
"Thanks..." He says, hugging his books closer to his chest. The problem wouldn't be them not accepting him...it was the crowds that he hated and always skipped breakfast to avoid.

  
Before he knew it they arrived at the Commons. As they enter he takes a deep breath. Alex leads John over to the table, where the rest of the group sits: Angelica, Eliza, Peggy, Hercules, Lafayette, Maria, and Aaron Burr (who sits to the side minding his own business).

  
As they arrive, everyone falls silent. John looks at everyone's faces, most of them confused and/or slightly glaring at him. Peggy smiles widely, already understanding the situation, and they stand up and stand next to John as Alexander begins to speak.

  
"Everyone, I have an announcement to make!" He starts.

  
"Alexander, _mon ami...pourquoi est-il ici_?" He asks in French to keep it privately between them. Alexander gives him a look and keeps going.

  
"Yes, I bet you're confused and maybe a bit angry, but there's no need to be! This is John Laurens--"

  
"Yeah we all know _very well_ who he is," Hercules comments, his tone not so friendly. John gulps.

  
"Yeah well he's not Henry Laurens!" Peggy snaps, making him--and everyone else--stop and listen, taking in what they said.

  
"We thought he was like his father, but we were completely wrong. I don't know him very well but I can tell you now that he isn't _anything_ like his father! We were all wrong to judge him, so for that.." Alexander faces John, who looks back at him worriedly.

  
"I'm sorry, we're all sorry," he says sincerely, giving John a small smile. He smiles back, and both of them turn to face the others. They all look around at each other, as if they were looking for someone to say something first, until one certain girl in a blue dress stands up.

  
"I'm very sorry, John. I should've at least talked to you before thinking like I did, it was very irresponsible of me," she holds her hand out. "I'm Elizabeth Schuyler, please call me Eliza. Thank you for being kind and friendly to our sibling, Peggy. They talk a lot about you," she says, smiling. John smiles and shakes her hand gently. Then Angelica stands as well.

  
"My name is Angelica Schuyler, the oldest. It is nice to meet you!" She walks over to him and pats his shoulder. "Don't you dare hurt my sisters," she says, giving him a look. John nods quickly, taking a mental note not to piss her off. Next to stand was the Frenchman.

  
"I am....sorry, for acting the way I did," he says in his very thick French accent. "You may call me Lafayette, or Laf. I am very _honored_ to meet you!" He bows, while smiling. Everyone giggles at his actions.

  
"Laf, we only do that in movies or towards royalty! It'd be better to say "I'm very _glad_ to meet you"," Hercules corrects, while smiling and he looks up at John. "I'm Hercules Mulligan, call me Herc," he says, shaking John's hand a lot more violently than Eliza did. Maria and Aaron simply introduces themselves, Maria smiling a little and Aaron just continues with his thing. John laughs a little and scratches the back of his neck.

  
"Gee, uh...thank you guys, for giving me a chance...its..nice to have friends for once," he says, blushing a little out of embarrassment.

  
"Awww.." A few of the girls go, and Laf and Peggy give him a hug.

  
"Any pronoun preference, _mon ami_?" Laf asks.

  
"Um....he/him, please," he responds. "You?"

  
"They/them~" they say, and slings an arm around John. "Got any...how do you say...quirks, we should know about?"

  
"Well, I'm gay," he says, and Laf gasps.

  
"Really??? You got a boyfriend? Or a _crush_?" They whisper, wiggling their eyebrows seductively.

  
"N-no, not yet!" John responds, flustered.

  
"Don't worry, you will find him one day," Laf pats his chest and smiles.

  
John continues to socialize with everyone, smiling and not worrying about anything. Well, until more and more students start to file in. As he was talking with Eliza and Peggy, he looks around and notices how it's a lot more crowded than it was when they first arrived. His stomach did multiple flips at once and he looks down.

  
"John? Are you alright?" Eliza asks, concerned.

  
"Y-yeah, yeah, I'm alright," he takes a deep breath, then stands up. "I-I'm sorry, I have to go now," he says quickly, his voice shaky. He gathers his things and makes his way through the crowd as fast as he could, leaving behind a confused group of friends who all saw him leave.

  
After what seemed like forever he finally made it out, and he sits down beside a tree trying to calm down. His stomach was still tight and hurt like hell. He grabs whatever book was on top of his mini stack--he didn't care what it was, if it had paper he had to use it. He took a pencil out of his pocket and began doodling, which he always did when having an anxiety attack. Crowded areas always did this to him. Just as he recovers, someone stops in front of him.

  
"Hey man, I remember seeing you a couple of weeks ago! You ran off on me when I tried to check up on ya, that's kinda rude," they said. John looks up at them.

  
"I'm sorry, I just..had to be alone," he apologized to the man in front of him. "Who are you?"

  
"My name is Thomas Jefferson! And I know who you are," Thomas says, smirking and resting his hands on his hips.

  
"Of course, everyone knows me..." John mutters. "What do you want?" He then asks.

  
"I want you to join my squad! I need more people to back me up if I'm gonna go up against Alexander and his group," he proposes.

  
"I'm sorry, but...I'm already friends with him and his group, so I guess I'm on their side..?" John says while arching an eyebrow, confused about the whole "sides" situation that seems to be going on here.

  
"Oh really now? Heh, well I got something to say," he leans up against the tree, blocking John's way of getting up. "What I want you to do is to learn about them, and I want you to tell me everything you know, everything they tell you will be repeated to me," he says.

  
"No, I'm not gonna do that for you! You wanna know about them just ask yourself!" John refuses. "Plus I don't even know you!"

  
"Ya know what I'm gonna do if you don't do this for me?" He asks.

  
"What?"

  
"I'm gonna tell everyone in this whole damn school about how you're just like your father, I'm gonna tell them how you tried to attack us and that you had no regret in it, I'm gonna make everyone believe you're a heartless _freak_ and then everyone will hate you and you will be alone! You want that? _Huh_?"

  
"Well, everyone kinda already hates me, so..." 

 

Thomas curses. "Fine then...um..." He tries to think of a better threat. John sighs.

 

"Can you please leave me alone?"

 

"Fine! Don't think this is over! I'll meet you here tomorrow, you better show up or else," He leans into his face, giving him an intimidating look.

  
John nods a little. Thomas steps back and puts on his signature smirk. "See ya later then, daddy's boy!" He skips away. John runs his hand through his hair, sighing a frustrated sigh. _Oh great.._

  
"John?"

  
Alexander steps out of the crowd and crouches beside him.

  
"You alright? You left..I got worried!"

  
John nods. "Yeah I'm fine..I get anxiety attacks when in crowds..."

  
"I understand. I get those too, not often though...anyways, wanna go? Don't you have economics class with me?" He asks as he lends John a hand. He takes it and stands.

  
"Yeah, let's go," he says, and follows Alex as they walk towards the school.

  
_What had he gotten himself into?_

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope that I did alright with personalities! I love writing as Lafayette tbh. I think I did okay with Thomas but could've done better ANYWAYS!
> 
> I know you guys really liked caring Thomas, so there'll be some more of that in the future, don't worry ;) but I had to make him like this now for writing reasons
> 
> Oh! Same person did another drawing from one of the previous chapters!!! And I am in LOVE with it *heart eyes* thank you so so so much!!! I'm sorry if you didn't want me to put this up here but I had to cuz you're supa talented and ily <3: http://nicolors42.tumblr.com/post/148597610483/annd-another-scene-from-the-boy-who-blocked-his
> 
> Next chapter shall be up soon~


	10. Boy you got me helpless~

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John hangs with Thomas, and then studies with Alex

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been a few days! I haven't gotten around to writing it. Anyways here it is!!! 
> 
> oh and for future warning, I'll be starting school in a couple of weeks and I might not update as much. I'll let you guys know when that happens
> 
> WARNING: FLUFF. MUCH FLUFF~ <3

"Hey, Alex!"

  
John spots his roommate down the hall and runs to catch up with him. Alex hears his call and stops, turning around and smiling at him.

  
"Hey John! What is it?"

  
"Well...I need to ask a favor..." John says, fiddling with his notebook a little.

  
"Anything!" He says, letting him know it was alright.

  
"Um...so I have this test coming up..and it's in one of my worst classes, my dad signed up classes for me and I'm stuck in _all_ the politics classes and I'm not doing so well! So...since you're super good at that kind of stuff..can you..help me study?" He asks, slightly blushing. Alex's heart skips a beat when he sees John's blush.

  
"O-of course!!! I'd love to help! When's the test?" He asks, but can't help but pay more attention to the adorable embarrassed face John was making.

  
"It's on Friday, so I have...3 days to study, including tonight," he says.

  
"Alright! We can study in our room, be there by 7:00?" Alex offers.

  
"Okay! See you then, and thank you so much!" John bows a little and Alex laughs as he runs off to his next class. Alex stares after him, smiling and watching him leave, before setting off to his own class. But for the rest of the day, he couldn't help but think about that certain curly-haired roommate of his.

  
The bell rings for the end of the day, and John starts to pack his books. As he does this, none other than Thomas Jefferson comes over from across the room.

  
"Hey man, I'm sorry about threatening you the other day..." He starts. John looks at him, then continues to pack his things up. Thomas keeps going.

  
"Can't we just hang out today? Madison bailed on me! We can talk about our interests or possibly.... _Hamilton_?"

  
John sighs, but looking at Thomas' face makes him fall for it. "Alright, we can hang out...but I have to be back by 7! I have to study,"

  
"YAY!!!" Thomas cheers and pulls on John's arm. "Let's go then!"

  
"Wait where are we going?" John steps back.

  
"I dunno, for a walk!" Thomas replied and links arms with him, skipping out of the classroom and out the big entrance doors.

  
"Why do you wanna hang out with _me_? You could've hung out with another one of your friends," John asks, dragging along behind Thomas.

  
"Well..I wanna get to know you more~ and I want you to know me!" Thomas adds, pointing to himself and smirking.

  
"Okay..." John agrees hesitantly, and decides to just roll with it.

  
They both walk around the city, talking about random things such as their likes and dislikes. Thomas kept bringing up the topic of Alex, but John always dropped it. Eventually he gave up on asking and continued on about how horrible Alex's fashion sense was--John didn't have the nerve to mention to him about his own taste in fashion, the man was wearing a pink jacket of all things! After a while of talking, John checks his watch, which reads 6:45.

  
"Thomas, I should probably go now..it was nice talking to you though! When you don't argue you're actually pretty nice!" He says, smiling. Thomas nods.

  
"Alright, I'll walk back with ya!" He declares, and they both make their way back. Once they arrive, Thomas stops him outside.

  
"Thanks for hanging with me today...I wish I could have a friend like you...someone like me doesn't deserve it I suppose," he says, looking down. John's heart sank at the statement.

  
"Hey...who said we couldn't be friends?" John asks, placing a hand on Thomas' shoulder.

  
"You're friends with Hamilton, and that makes you my enemy. I'm afraid you have to choose one or the other," he says, shrugging, and John takes his hand off of his shoulder in surprise. "It's your choice, I'll be back in a few days for your decision," he says, then smiles and winks. "Till then!" He walks off down the sidewalk, not going inside the dorms. John stands there, and sighs.

  
_He's still going on about that, huh?_

  
He makes his way inside and up to his room, getting there right at 7. Alexander was already inside, typing away at his laptop.

  
"Hey Alex!" John says, smiling brightly. Alexander spins around in his spinny chair.

  
"Hey! You ready to study?"

  
"Not really but I have to!" They both chuckle at his comment.

  
"Let's get started then," Alex stands and sits on John's bed. John gets his notebooks out of his bookbag and lays on his stomach across the bed, opening them up. Alex watches him get ready, before laying down beside him and looking at the notes.

  
"You have really neat handwriting!" He comments, reading through the stuff scribbled down in neat letters.

  
"Thanks," John blushes a little at the comment. He wasn't used to receiving compliments. "So this is all that I'm tested on, any tips for me to memorize?"

  
"Hmm...you have a red marker?" Alex asks.

  
"Yeah, hold on," John sits up and looks in a drawer on his bedside table. He takes out a red marker and hands it to him.

  
"Okay, so everything I circle in red is an important thing to remember, so start on memorizing those first," he starts, making a small key at the top. "Circled means essential, star means important, like stuff that's good to know but might not be on the test. And if it's not marked then you can forget it," He circles a few bullet points.

  
John leans in towards the notebook, watching him circle or star on it. What he didn't notice was how close the two had gotten. Their shoulders were touching, and if they had looked at each other their noses would've touched.

  
Alex, however, did notice. And he was internally freaking out.

  
_Ohmygodohmygodhe'sliterallyrightthereohgodifIturnwewouldpracticallybealmostkissingohgodohgod--_

  
He keeps his focus on the paper, his face probably flushed red by now. Yep, definitely flushed. He was burning up. He glances at John from the corner of his eye, noticing that he, too, was blushing a little but he seemed to be enjoying it. Alex relaxes a little, he wasn't used to close contact but he could get used to this. Besides, John's face was absolutely adorable.

  
He finishes with circling and starring, and caps the marker. "There!" He declares. John giggles a little.

  
"Wow, didn't know how much useless info the teacher gives!" He says, noticing there's not as much red as he expected.

  
"What's the best way for you to memorize? Are you a visual learner?" Alex asks.

  
"Using flashcards help," he says, "why do you ask?"

  
"I couldn't help but notice the erased sketches on the side of your notes," Alex winks, making John blush.

  
_Ohmygoshhewinkedatme--_

  
"Figured since you're an artist that you were a visual learner!" Alex says as John has his mini internal spazz. He recovers quickly and responds,

  
"Art's kinda a hobby, it does kinda help me in school actually...if I really don't understand something I try to draw it," he starts closing all his books, except one.

  
"I'd like to see your artwork sometime! Not erased, that is," Alex says, chuckling a little.

  
"M-maybe one day, when I get better..." John trails off, obviously embarrassed by the topic. Alex smiles at his expression.

  
"Alright, whenever you feel comfortable!" He assures. "Oh, wait!" He runs to his bedside table and takes out colorful flashcards. "Angelica gave me these, but I never use them. You can have them!" He says, handing John the stack.

  
"Are you sure?" John asks.

  
"Of course! I don't need them," he responds. John nods and takes the stack, smiling. As he takes them their hands lightly brush each other, making Alex blush a lot more.

  
"Alex..? You alright? Your face is super red," John asks, after placing the cards off to the side.

  
"Y-yeah yeah! It's hot in here, isn't it?" Alex fans himself with the collar of his shirt, playing it off as the temperature rather than his weird feelings.

  
"I suppose it is a little hot in here," John agrees. "Anyways, thanks for helping me out!"

  
"No problem! By tomorrow have all or most of the circled ones memorized, alright?"

  
"Of course, my tutor," John taunts jokingly, while laughing a little. Alex laughs along with him.

  
The rest of the evening was spent by John studying and Alex doing an assignment on the computer. Eventually John had gone to bed, and Alex stayed up working. But a thought kept running through his mind.

  
_Why do I get so nervous around John? And why do I keep thinking about him?_

  
He shrugs and thinks of it as a phase, and if it wasn't...then, he would go to his friends for advice.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was so fun to write~ thanks to moirail for help with Thomas dialogue. 
> 
> Next chapter will be up soon!


	11. When life gives you cinnamon, make cinnamon rolls!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More fluff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess this is kinda like a filler chapter, idk what that is but whatev. Anyways more fluff for y'all~ hope you like!
> 
> Sorry it's kinda short tho...i'll try to update sooner!

Alexander yawns and opens the door to his room. He had to stay in the computer lab to do an assignment, because it wouldn't work on his laptop. Let's just say that it was slow as hell. When he enters the room the smell of cinnamon fills his nose. _Wait, cinnamon_?

  
He places his bag down on his bed and walks towards the small kitchen attached to their room. He sees John in there, making something while softly humming a song to himself and smiling a little. Alex's cheeks heat up a bit at the sight, only the gods know why (and the author >:) ).

  
He takes a deep breath, calming his nerves and goes in the kitchen, the smell of sweet cinnamon even stronger in there. John notices him and smiles at him.

  
"Hey Alex! I was studying but got a little hungry, so I'm making cinnamon rolls!"

  
"....what's a cinnamon roll?" Alex asks. John gasps, placing a hand on his chest to increase the drama.

  
"You've _seriously_ never had a cinnamon roll before?"

  
Alex shakes his head. "We didn't have stuff like that where I came from..."

  
"Well my friend, you're gonna learn tonight! Cinnamon rolls are the BEST!" John exclaims excitedly and jumps a little. "Wanna help me make them? I've only just started!"

  
Alexander smiles and nods, walking over to the counter and watches John do his cooking stuff while explaining everything about cinnamon rolls. He looks at John almost dreamily, thinking about how cute he was when he was excited about something.

  
The cinnamon rolls came out of the oven and John taught Alex how to do the icing, and he let him do it. After Alex squirted icing on the top, an idea popped in his head. He smirks and turns to John.

  
"Hey John!"

  
John turns around to meet a handful of icing slapped on his face, by yours truly. Alexander starts laughing. John smirks and takes some icing off of his face, then throws it at him, landing on his face and shirt. Both boys start laughing more and have a full-out icing war, using up the rest of it (unfortunately). After about ten minutes they run out and sigh happily, while still giggling.

  
"Well, time to have cinnamon rolls!" John says and hands one to Alex. "Try it!"

  
Alex looks at it, then looks at John. Then back to the roll, then at John. Roll. John. Roll. John.

  
"What is it?" John asks, confused at his actions.

  
".....you look just like this cinnamon roll," Alex randomly says.

  
".....I what?"

  
Alexander takes a bite of it, and his eyes light up like a Christmas tree. "It is official! You are a cinnamon roll, too good for this world~"

  
This statement causes John to blush. "Heh, I'm not that great..." He takes a bite out of a cinnamon roll while Alex gives him a look of shock.

  
"Everything about that is completely wrong! You're amazing! You may be a bit shy but you have so much talent and you're incredibly nice and everything about you is too pure for this world! Don't tell yourself differently..." He debates, and takes a big bite out of his cinnamon roll as if it would prove a point. John laughs a little, a blush evident on his cheeks now.

  
"Gee, thanks.." He eats his cinnamon roll while blushing, his freckles appearing darker and making Alexander melt a little, as he makes a mental note to make John flustered more in the future. The two continue to eat, while covered in icing and enjoying each other's company. After eating, John declares that he's going to take a shower. When he leaves Alexander goes back to his own thoughts.

  
_He's adorable...those freckles are like constellations...I wish I could kiss him--wait what am I even thinking? Sure he's gay but there's no way he'd like me! We've only known each other for...well it's been a month but we've only been friends for like a week! ....it's official, I have a crush on John Laurens...oh no, what am I gonna do..?_

  
He hears voices outside of the room, bringing him out of his thoughts. He leans up against the door, hearing the voices of Thomas Jefferson and James Madison outside in the hallway.

  
"It'll work, I assure you!"

  
"How can you be so sure? Why do you even want him on your side anyways?"

  
_Who are they talking about?_

  
"He's too naive to refuse, the _moment_ he sees someone depressed or upset he wants to befriend them! He fell for it last time, he definitely will this time!" Thomas laughs a little.

  
"But how do we get him away from Hamilton? The two are constantly together! And if Hamilton found out--"

  
"Hamilton won't find out! Once we get to Laurens when he's alone we'll have him wrapped around our little finger and he'll give us information! It'll work, it's already been working,"

  
Alexander clenches his hands into fists. _They plan on using John against me?_! His teeth grind together in anger. Not towards John, but towards Jefferson for even _trying_ to use him like that.

  
The voices get quieter and Alexander sits down on his bed. He had to talk to John about this.

  
_Once you get out of the shower, I'm gonna find out what's been happening, what Jefferson's been doing to you so far._

_  
And he won't hear the end of it._

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alex is maaaaaad. XP anyways I hope you guys liked it, comments are always appreciated because it tells me that people are still actually reading it ^•^ 
> 
> Next chapter will be up shortly!


	12. I'll bleed and fight for you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Thomas fight, then more fluff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY YES THIS IS AN IMMEDIATE UPDATE AND I AM HAPPY AND MY PHONE BETTER NOT DIE ON MY WHILE I POST THIS. 
> 
> THIS HAS TO BE THE BEST CHAPTER IVE WRITTEN SO FAR, SO I HOPE YOU GUYS LIKE IT!!!!! <3

John walks out of the bathroom, using a towel to dry his hair and a towel wrapped around his waist. What he didn't expect was to see Alexander sitting on his bed and staring at him. John blushes, admitting to himself that he probably should've brought clothes in with him, but he also didn't mind as much. Alex was super cute when he blushes--

  
"Ahem...um, John, we need to talk," Alex says, coughing awkwardly. John nods.

  
"Lemme change first...don't look," he adds and Alex nods quickly, looking away. He slips on some shorts and a tshirt, then sits down beside Alex. "What is it?" He asks, a bit concerned for his behavior.

  
"Well...I need to ask you something," Alex says, turning to face John and looking at him straight in the eyes. "What has Jefferson done to you?"

  
He arches his eyebrows in confusion. "What do you mean?"

  
"I mean...tell me what you've been doing with him, and what's he's been telling you," he says, and John notices the concern and worry in his chocolate brown eyes.

  
"Okay, well...he mostly complained about you, and.." He takes a deep breath. "He's been trying to get me on his "side", he's been saying stuff about how he's a lot better and how I should tell him information about you, but I always refused! Or...tried to, he keeps saying stuff about how he doesn't deserve a friend like me and...I-I don't know, I don't want to be on his "side" or be his little secret information guy, but I always feel bad for him--"

  
"That's the thing," Alex says, and places his hands on John's shoulders. "I've known Thomas since we were in grade school. This is what he does to everyone! _Everyone_ I meet...he's making you feel _guilty_ , if this keeps going he's going to have you wrapped around his finger and I can't have that!"

  
"Alex..."

  
"You're my friend, you don't deserve that!" Alex growls and stands up. " ** _Thomaaaaaas_**!" He yells and stomps over to the door.

  
"Alex, wait!" John stands as Alex runs out, leaving the door open. He runs after Alex, seeing that he already ran down a flight of stairs.

  
Alexander, fuming, stomps outside and towards the commons, still covered in icing. He spots Thomas across the large room and makes his way over. Madison first spots him and taps Thomas, with a worried expression. As soon as Thomas turns he meets a fist to the nose. He stumbles back, his hand flying up to his nose.

  
"What the hell?! Hamilton?!" He yells, his voice slightly different.

  
"What the hell back! You were gonna use my best friend against me!"

  
Thomas brings his hand down, seeing that his nose had bled a little, and he laughs. "I have no idea what you're talking about, and congratulations on breaking my fucking nose!"

  
"You know fully well what I'm talking about! I heard your little plan, you and Madison said it right by my door!" Alex yells, by now everyone who was in the commons had stopped what they were doing and watched.

  
Thomas glares at Madison, and mutters to him, "you said his room was on the _first_ floor!" Madison raises his hands up and backs away, not wanting to get involved. Alex growls and grabs Thomas by the collar.

  
"You do this to almost every single close friend I try to make, I won't let you do it again," Alex says through gritted teeth. John runs into the commons, seeing the scene unfold. "John doesn't deserve something like this to happen to him, so you better _stay away_!" Alex yells. An idea pops in John's mind and he runs off.

  
Thomas smirks, "Awe, you got yourself a little crush?" He taunts, causing Alex to punch him in the jaw. Thomas growls and kicks Alex in the nuts, and the two start a fist-fight, punching and hitting each other every chance they get.

  
Soon enough John comes back, with him was Mr. Washington. Washington runs to the two and breaks them up, with the help of Madison. The two continue to glare at each other while Washington gives them a disappointed look and escorts them to his office. He makes them sit in the two chairs in front of his desk, then he walks behind it and sits down.

  
"So, gentlemen," Washington places his hands on his desk professionally. "Care to explain?"

  
Alexander and Thomas glare at each other while holding some kind of injury the other had inflicted on them. "I believe _Thomas_ has something to confess," Alex snarls. Thomas rolls his eyes.

  
"I have nothing to confess! Go to hell!" Thomas snaps back.

  
"Watch your language!" Washington yells, making both of them look at him. He sighs.

  
"This isn't going to go anywhere, so I don't want to know what happened. But what I do know is how you violated one of our school rules, and Principal George will not be happy. So, I will offer you a deal," he pauses, and Alex and Thomas stare back at him.

  
"Physical fighting is one of the top rules that Principal George takes seriously, if this issue is taken to him you two will be _suspended_! But, you are both very intelligent men and I don't want that to happen, so here's the deal. You both will have detention after school with me every day for two weeks, and you will be doing activities that will help you learn either how to get along or how to at least tolerate each other so you aren't at each other's throats! If this doesn't succeed and you get in another fight like this, I won't hesitate to bring this to the office and have you both gone. Understood?"

  
Alex and Thomas groan dramatically, but deep down they knew neither one of them could afford to get kicked out of school. Washington shakes his head, then smiles a little.

  
"And your first activity is for both of you to go to the nurse and get patched up without touching each other," he adds, then ushers them out. Alex and Thomas stalk to the door, glaring at him and each other.

  
They open the door and see John standing there, waiting worriedly. Thomas averts eye contact and makes his way to the nurse's office, while John goes right up to Alexander.

  
"So, you got in a fight?" He says, and Alex nods shamefully. Washington, who followed them so he could shut the door, smiles at the two.

  
"John, would you mind joining Alexander and Thomas to the nurse? You may be able to keep them from attacking each other," he says, smiling warmly. John nods, smiling back. He then does something unexpected; he looks back at Alex and holds his hand. Washington smiles, seeing how they both look at each other and how Alex blushes and doesn't react as bad as he usually does when someone touches him. He shuts the door to his office, giving them privacy in the hall. The two start to walk to the nurse's office.

  
"He beat you up pretty bad, huh? I bet he looks worse though," John laughs a little. "Does it hurt?"

  
" _Like hell_ ," Alex says grudgingly.

  
"Oh, and did you notice you're still covered in icing?" He points out while laughing again, a laugh that could make Alex melt easily. He blushes in embarrassment for forgetting, he must've looked like a total mess.

  
"It's alright though, you obviously had something important to do!" He says, making Alex nod in agreement.

  
"Well let's hurry up to the nurse! The sooner it's treated the sooner it'll get better," he says and pulls Alex to the nurse's office. Thomas was already sitting on a bench and getting patched up.

  
The two didn't say anything or even look at each other the whole time, the silence in the room was so thick it would be impossible to cut through it, besides the nurses asking them questions regarding their injuries. After what seemed like forever they all leave, going their separate ways.

  
"...hey, Alex?"

  
Alex looks in John's direction and hums in response.

  
"You...got in a fight with him because of what he tried to do to me, right..?" He asks shyly. Alexander looks down, feeling a bit bad and thinking that John was mad at him. But it was really the opposite--John blushes a little and smiles, they both stop in the middle of the hallway as John stands in front of him.

  
"Thank you..." He says, and in that moment Alexander was _helpless_ \--lost in the constellations of freckles on his face, lost in the deep brown color of his eyes and his large poofy ponytail, lost in the soft innocent expression he always had. He so badly wanted to kiss him, right then and there, but he knew he couldn't. Not yet.

  
So instead, he smiles and ruffles his hair.

  
"Anything for you"

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaahhhhhhhh yeeeeesssssssss
> 
> There ya go~ I hope this makes up for the super short one last chapter. 
> 
> I have now decided that I am going to ask a question after each chapter, and you can answer in the comments! So, here's the question for today: what/who got you into the Hamilton fandom?
> 
> My answer: My moirail introduced me to it, and the more I listened to it the more I got obsessed and now I'm here~ 
> 
> Can't wait to read your answers and feedback/comments on the chapter is also welcome (I seriously love reading your comments they all make my day like I squeal every time I see someone's commented) and it will be updated soon!!!


	13. Raise a glass to freedom~

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The squad gets drunk (you knew this was gonna happen eventually >:) )

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOOOOOH MYYYYYYY LOOOOOORD I AM SO SORRY FOR THE LONG WAIT *sobs* So, I had a lot going on...I kinda overthink about a bunch of stuff, especially when it comes to my relationships with friends and I made up problems that don't exist so that was fun (not)
> 
> then it was super hard to write this friggen chapter, writing as drunk people is much harder than it seems! Anywaysss, please don't kill me for the long wait and here is a long chapter!!! <3

"Alex!!!!!!!! Alex Alex Alex Alex Alex Alex Alex--"

  
John had ran as fast as he could up the stairs and into their room, excited to tell Alexander the news.

  
"Aleeeeeeexxxxxxx!" He says excitedly as he waits for Alexander to finish up whatever he was doing on his laptop. Eventually he turns around.

  
"Damn John, what's gotten you so excited?" He asks, smiling brightly.

  
"I passed!!! I passed that test you were helping me with! See!!!!" He shoves the little packet in his face, making him chuckle and take it. At the top, written in red, it had a large 90 circled. Alexander looks at John, who's grinning ear-to-ear and hopping in spot.

  
"Congrats! I knew you'd do awesome on it!" Alex says, and holds his fist out and John bumps it with his own fist. "We should go celebrate!"

  
"Where should we go?" John asks.

  
"Hmm...lets go ask Herc and Laf! I bet they'd have a good idea," Alex offers and gets his coat. It was now the beginning of October and it can get pretty cold in New York.

  
"Good idea! The four of us can go out somewhere!" John chimes happily, grabbing his own coat. Alex smiles at him and holds the door open for him. The two walk out together and go down the hall to Lafayette and Hercules' room. They were luckily on the same floor, just farther down the hallway. They knock on the door and Laf answers it.

  
"Alex! John! _Mon amies_ , come in!!!" They beckon them in, shutting the door behind them. "What brings you here?"

  
"Well, John here got an A on a test in his worst class, which we both studied for all week, and I wanted to take him out somewhere to celebrate! Got any ideas?" Alex asks. Laf gasps.

  
"Can we come? Erm....Con....congratul..ations John!" They say, struggling with the word but smiling ear to ear.

  
"Thank you! And of course you can come! The four of us can go somewhere--speaking of which, where's Herc?" John asks.

  
"He's over there, he's sewing something for a class," they point in the direction where Herc sits at a table, sewing fabric together with a sewing machine. The three go over to him.

  
"Hey Herc!" Alex greets, as Hercules turns the machine off and wipes sweat off of his forehead.

  
"Hey dudes, what's up?"

  
"Monsieur John passed a test, would you like to go celebrate with us?" Laf informs.

  
"Yeah man! Where we goin'?"

  
"I know a place~" they say, smirking. The other three get a slight feeling of worry, but brush it off. Their idea couldn't be that bad, right?

  
After Herc puts his things away the squad leaves the dorms and go into the city. It was around dusk, the sun setting behind the tall buildings as the sky turns from pinks and purples into darker hues of blue and black. Alex looks up at the stars starting to form.

  
_These stars are beautiful, but there's someone who's even better.._

  
He looks at John, who's having a conversation with Laf. Alex smiles a little, a pink blush barely visible on his cheeks. But not invisible to Laf. They slow down a little to walk beside Alex, Herc going up to John to talk to him. Laf nudges Alex playfully.

  
"Soooo you got something to share, _mon ami_ ~?" They ask, keeping their voice low. Alex's blush grows.

  
"N-no! Of course not! You would already know if I was hiding something,"

  
"Uh-huh, sure," they say, not believing him. "I got an idea of what it is," they smirk. Alex looks down, and Laf laughs. "We'll talk about it another time! Away from the others," they offer, and Alex nods. "We're here, after all!!!" They exclaim with a louder voice, so Herc and John hears and they all stop in front of a building.

  
"A bar?" John asks.

  
"The best one in New York! Let's go!" Herc cheers and walks in, followed by Laf, then John and Alex. The four go up to the bar stand, and Laf orders a drink for all of them.

  
"I've never been here before, where did you find this Laf?" Alex asks.

  
"I found it when I first arrived from France~ I met Herc here too," Laf informs, a proud smile on their face.

  
"Woah really? That's awesome!" John says happily. Everyone's drinks arrive, and John's eyes light up when he sees what Laf ordered.

  
"Wooooah, what is this?" He asks, making Laf gasp dramatically.

  
"You've never been out drinking?!" They ask, shocked. Herc and Alex look over at them too.

  
"My dad never let me.." John says, a bit embarrassed.

  
"Well my friend, we're gonna get you drunk off your ass tonight!" Herc says, slapping John's back. John chuckles a little, looking back at the tall drink.

  
"Okay, here I go!" He says, picking it up and he starts chugging it, while the other three cheer him on. He finishes about half of it before pausing and putting it down. "That's so gooooooood,"

  
"Told ya~ it's Sam Adams!" Laf says, raising their cup up and the other three follow suit. "To the...squad!" They cheer. "To the squad!" They all repeat, and start chugging their own drinks. Laf finishes first, then John because he had a head start, then Herc and Alex finish at about the same time. Alex and John giggle a little, already having flushed cheeks.

  
"Damn guys, y'all already getting drunk?" Herc laughs, chugging a second drink. Laf is already on their third or fourth drink. John chugs about half of his second drink, and is already considered completely drunk. He stands up on his chair, his drink raised high and he starts rapping off the top of his drunken mind.

  
"I'M JOHN LAURENS IN THE PLACE TO BE! TWO PINTS O' SAM ADAMS BUT IM WORKIN' ON THREE!"

  
"Haa!" He and Laf laugh.

  
"THOSE RED COATS DONT WANT IT WITH ME! CUZ I WILL PAP-CHIKA-PLAP THOSE COPS TILL IM FREE!" He raises his cup more, spilling a little bit but no one seemed to care. Laf then stands up with him and continues his rap.

  
"Ah Oui Oui mon ami~ je m'appelle, Lafayette! The Lancelot of the revolutionary set! I came from afar just to say bonsoir! Tell the king "Casse toi!" Who's the best? C'est moi~" They rap, for some odd reason they add a revolution and a king in it but who cares, they're drunk! Herc then stands up and starts off with his totally awesome beginning.

  
"BRRAH! BRRAH! I AM HERCULES MULLIGAN! UP IN IT LOVIN IT YES I HEARD YA MOTHER SAID "COME AGAIN?""

  
"Eyyyyy!" The three cheer. He continues.

  
"LOCK UP YA DAUGHTERS AND HORSES, OF COURSE ITS HARDER TO HAVE INTERCOURSE OVER FOUR SETS OF CORSETS..."

  
"Wow," Laf says, but smiles nonetheless.

  
"Pour me another brew, son!" John yells and they all raise their glasses and cling them together. Alexander laughs really hard at all their raps.

  
"Eyyyy Aleeeexx! You drunk yeeeeet?" Laf slurs, leaning over the table.

  
"Of course nooot~" Alex tries to say with a straight voice but it comes out slurred and drunk-like.

  
"Doesn't sound like you arrrrrent!" John chimes in, drinking his third pint. "Whatchu wanna taaaalk abooout~?"

  
"Ya know what I think~?" Alex starts, and the others listen in with stupid smiles and flushed faces. "I think Jefferson smokes weed~"

  
"Ooooooooooo!" The other three coo, and Alex laughs and goes on.

  
"I bet he's like," he stands up, goes cross-eyed and mocks Thomas' voice and stance in a horrible way. "'Don't eat the weed brownies,'"

  
The three start bursting out laughing.

  
"LIFE LIBERTY AND THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS!" Alex stumbles around in a circle, his eyes still crossed, which makes them laugh so hard Herc falls out of his stool, making everyone laugh even harder.

  
"YOU CANT HANDLE MY FABULOUSNESS, I HAVE A MAGENTA SUIT!" Alex lifts his own jacket up, pretending it's a magenta suit as he stumbles around. John stands up and stumbles around with him, both of them laughing and nearly tripping on themselves while Laf and Herc watch with tears in their eyes from laughing.

  
"COME ALONG JOHN~" Alex says, dropping the Thomas mimic and going back to his semi-normal drunk voice. "IM WAY BETTER THAN JEFFERSIZZLE, LETS GO EAT CINNAMON ROLLS!" John laughs and they both hold hands and dance around. Laf and Herc laugh at their adorable gayness.

  
"Ey, Alex! I have a dare for ya!" Herc calls, and the two walk over to him.

  
"Okay~ I want you to go outside and run up and down the street while yelling something random!" He declares, his words slurring a lot. Alex grins and he runs outside. He takes a deep breath then starts ~~running~~ stumbling down the sidewalk, and as loud as he could, he yelled "LAURENNNNSSSS".

  
John gasps and runs outside, almost tripping in the process. There Alex was, running up and down the sidewalk, sometimes almost falling and sometimes running in circles, as he called over and over his roommate's name.

  
"LAUREEENNNNNNNS! LAURENS LAURENS LAURENS LAURENS~" he yells stupidly, earning some weird looks and giggles from strangers. John was blushing even more, aside the alcohol blush as he smiles widely at the sight. A few people in the bar were videotaping him, they must've gone to their school. After a few minutes Alex runs up to John and yells something unexpected.

  
"I THINK YOUR PANTS LOOK HOT! LAURENS I LIKE YOU A LOT!" he declares, then bolts inside with a huge smile plastered on his face, while John stumbles back in with a tomato-red face. Everyone cheers for them.

  
"That was the best!" Laf says as they stop their recording. "Oh shit~ our anti-drunken selves are gonna think we're...insane!"

  
"Ya know~ anti-drunk isn't wrong~ but it's also called being sober~" Herc informs, holding a finger up like in movies.

  
Our favorite drunk squad continue to be awesomely stupid together until the bar started closing down. By then John had already started to get over his drunk-ness, since he didn't have as much to drink as the rest did. It was surprising to him that Alex could drink so many drinks!!! He slings Alex's arm around his shoulders and practically limps all the way back to the dorms, nearly running into many objects on the way. He may have been a little over it but not completely.

  
He kicks the door open and pretty much throws drunk Alex on the bed, who giggles in return.  
 _He's been giggling the whole way back!_

  
John washes his face in the bathroom, then sits on his bed, closing his eyes to try and keep his mind from spinning. It unfortunately didn't work because soon after he was bolting to the bathroom and unloads a huge amount of his dinner and the alcohol into the toilet. Yep. He should've seen this coming.

  
After a while of doing his business in there, he lays on his bed, groaning. Alex was still giggling and saying jibberish. After a while he got quiet, then speaks again.

  
"Hey John~?"

  
John turns his head towards him. "Yeah..?" He mutters.

  
"I reeeeaaalllllly like you, ya know~?" He says, smiling back at him. John blushes a little and smiles, but then shakes his head a little. _No, he doesn't mean it like that, he's drunk!_

  
"I like you too," he says back.

  
"I _liiike_ you like you~" Alex then says, then giggles drunkly. John sighs, half of him wishing Alex was saying that while not drunk.

  
"Do you liiike me baaack?"

  
John blinks, blushing more. _Should I confess? He probably won't remember anyways.._

  
"Yeah, I _like_ you like you back!" He says, smiling even though it hurt inside. There was no way he'd be able to say this to Alex while he was sober. He wished he could but he knew he wouldn't be able to.

  
Maybe one day...

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> John realizes his crush~ <3 hope that was good and kudos to my moirail for helping out again, I REALLY needed it for this one! I guess I should be calling her my co-author now ^w^ maybe I'll have her say a little message in a future author's note
> 
> Question of the chapter!!!: I'm very curious, to those who are still reading this, why did you start reading this fanfic? Not that I'm mad or anything, I'm super super happy that I HAZ 2000 HITS LIKE WHAT
> 
> So anyways, did you start reading this fanfic for the heck of it? Or for another reason? Answer in the comments~ :-3
> 
> Next chapter will be up soon! Have a good day/night! (it's almost midnight here) <3


	14. You cried, and it broke my heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More Lams. Lams Lams Lams

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sooooo sorry for the wait! More stuff has been going on, I'm starting to get a lot of anxiety problems and a lot of times when I have the time to write I don't because I'm not feeling good...
> 
> Anyways, I'm at the beach right now (which is unimportant cuz I leave tomorrow BUT I SAW BABY SEA TURTLES AND IM VERY HAPPY), and yaaaa
> 
> Here's the next chapter~

When Alex woke up the next morning, he instantly felt horrible. He wipes sweat off of his forehead, and as he sits up he immediately feels the contents in his stomach rise up to his throat. He covers his mouth and runs to the bathroom, unloading whatever he had the other night into the toilet. He had no idea why he was feeling this way, maybe he caught a stomach bug?

  
He continues to do his business, not noticing that a certain someone had came in and is now holding his hair back while rubbing his back gently. Alex coughs.

  
"J-John..?"

  
"It's me," John responds, as Alex pukes again. "This is normal, don't worry. You had a lot to drink last night,"

  
"W-wait I went d-drinking?!" Alex stutters, looking back at John from the corner of his eye.

  
"Yeah, we went to a bar to celebrate me passing my test, but that's all I remember..." He explains.

  
"I d-don't remember anything at all..." Alex admits, then immediately turning his face back to the toilet as he pukes the rest of his meal out.

  
"That's also normal, we may never know what happened! Although I can tell that I didn't get as drunk as you," he chuckles a little. Alex smiles.

  
"....d-do I have to skip classes today?" He asks, his tone indicating that he really didn't want to skip.

  
"I'd highly suggest skipping," John responds, "Besides, I'm skipping, and I don't wanna be alone all day..." he says, blushing a little and hoping that would be enough for him to give in. Which, surprisingly, he did (after seeing John's adorable blush and expression).

  
"Alright! Let's spend the day here, being hung over!" Alex declares, his voice less shaky now.

  
"Sweet! ...what are we gonna do?" John asks.

  
"Hmm...first let's eat! What would you like for breakfast?" Alex asks. "I can make it!"

  
"You don't have to do that--"

  
"It's my pleasure! After all you were the one who cooked last!" Alex cuts him off, making John smile.

  
"Alright, you can make whatever you wanna make, I bet it's gonna be amazing no matter what it is!" His compliment makes Alex blush. The two stand up, flush the toilet and leave, Alex going into the kitchen while John lays back down on his bed.

  
"I'm gonna brainstorm some ideas that we can do," he says, closing his eyes and thinks. Alex puts his hair up in a green tie, and starts getting ingredients out.

  
"........how about...we can watch movies, or listen to music?" John suggests.

  
"We can go ahead and listen to music now! What type of music do you listen to?" Alex asks from the kitchen.

  
"Oh, well...some call it 'emo music'," John says, pulling out his phone. "I like My Chemical Romance a lot, and Fall Out Boy and Three Days Grace. The list goes on!"

  
"I bet I'd like it! Let's hear 'em," Alex encourages. John nods and clicks shuffle on his mix, the first song that comes up is Don't Threaten Me With A Good Time by Panic! At the Disco. ( ~~No I totally did not just click shuffle on my own mix to decide what song should pop up first *pssssh*~~ )

  
"Wow this song perfectly matches with the past 24 hours we've had!" John says while smiling. Alex listens to the song.

  
"Wow...he can sing pretty high for a dude," Alex comments when it gets to the chorus. He begins cooking their breakfast. John sniffs the air, then smiles.

  
"Are you making waffles?"

  
"You caught on quick! Do you like waffles...?" Alex asks, at first not realizing that was from a particular waffles song.

  
"YEAH I LIKE WAFFLES!" John sings. Alex smirks, now remembering, and he continues.

  
"Do you like pancakes?"

  
"YEAH I LIKE PANCAKES!"

  
"Do you like French toast?"

  
"YEAH I LIKE FRENCH TOAST!"

  
" _DO DO DO DO DO! CAN'T WAIT TO GET A MOUTHFUL!!!_ " They sing together and start laughing their heads off at the end. John had tears in the corners of his eyes before calming down and holding onto his chest. "That was awesome," he says. Alex nods in agreement. A new song starts playing from John's phone: Breath by Breaking Benjamin.

  
"Oookaaaaay yes I may or may not listen to a sort-of screamo band..." John admits. "But Breaking Benjamin is so awesome! I freaking love this song,"

  
Alex smiles, thinking how cute John was when he was talking. He absolutely adored it when he talks about the things he's passionate about, which music seems to be a really important part of his life. Alex averts his eyes back to the food he was making before John realized how long he had been staring. He listens in to the music, hearing John softly hum along to it. _God that voice is so angelic..._

  
After a long time of cooking and listening to songs, he finally finishes up and calls John into the kitchen.

  
"Sir John Laurens?" He asks professionally while smirking. John sits up.

  
"Yes?"

  
"Your food awaits you, sir," he gestures his arm out towards the table and he bows. John laughs a little and gets up, patting Alex's head while passing by.

  
"Why thank you, my dear servant--roommate," he plays along, not knowing how much Alex freaked out when John gave him the simple pat on the head. A good freak-out of course. The two sit down together and begin eating.

  
"Wow--this is AMAZING! The best waffles I've ever had! Seriously, I'm not just saying that, you're talented!" John says as he digs in. Alex blushes and smiles.

  
"Glad you like it!"

  
They continue eating, but then a song comes on that caught Alex's attention. He wasn't sure what it was called, it must've been new, and John didn't say the name of it when it came on, but when he heard the words of the song he couldn't help but feel...sad.

  
((This song is called Pieces by Rob Thomas. If you want, you can search the song up and listen to it while reading these lyrics, or you can just read it. Whatever works))

 _Run away, run away if you can't speak_  
_Turn a page on a world that you don't need  
Wide awake and you're scared that you won't come down now_

 _Didn't I tell you you were gonna break down_  
_Didn't I warn you, didn't I warn you_  
_Better take it easy, try to find a way out  
Better start believing in yourself_

 _We build it up, we tear it down_  
_We leave our pieces on the ground_  
_We see no end, we don't know how_  
_We are lost and we're falling_  
_Hold onto me_  
 _You're all I have, all I have_  
 _Hold onto me_  
 _You're all I have, all I have_

  
Alex looks at John, who was still eating but now he had slowed down and was staring at his plate. Alex could feel the emotion surrounding them, and he didn't like the feeling. He wanted to ask about it, but he decided against it. Maybe later would be a better time.

  
But for now, he decided to try and cheer John up a little. They both finished quickly and he took John's hands before he could go put his plate away. John looks at him questioningly, as Alex pulls him into the mini living room they have. He then begins to dance. John started to freak out inside, he had no idea how to dance and he didn't want to screw it up--

  
"Hey, there's no need to be all nervous, I have no idea how to dance either! Let's learn together, kay?" Alex says, as if he could read his mind. John nods and relaxes a little, enjoying the moment more as they start to go faster and faster. After a while, the song ends and they slow down.

  
"See? Now we both know how to dance," Alex says, smiling. John smiles back and hugs him.

  
"Thank you," he says quietly. Alex hugs back, patting his shoulder a little.

  
"It's no problem at all," he responds, resisting the urge to say anything romantic. They pull away from the hug, and John smiles at him before going over to his bed, looking under it and pulling something out from under the bed. He makes his way back.

  
"I figured we could watch some Disney movies! My dad wouldn't let us watch them...he said they were 'only for girls' which is bullshit to me!" He says, and shows Alex the movies. Alex chuckles, and looks at them.

  
"Hmm....lets watch all of them!!! Starting with that one," he points to Tangled. John nods and puts the disk in his computer. They both sit together on the couch, and Alex notices John's background photo on his laptop.

  
"Turtles, nice~"

  
Yes, it was a collage of many different types of turtles, big and small, on his laptop.

  
"Wanna know a secret? ...I've never actually seen a real turtle before, if I see a turtle I will officially be able to die in peace," he says. Alex smiles and makes a mental note of that.

  
"That's kind of surprising, you seem obsessed with turtles and you've never seen one! Don't worry, I guarantee that you'll see one!" He says. John smiles brightly.

  
"That would be amazing,"

  
He pulls the movie up and they start watching after pulling the blinds down and turning the lights off to make the room darker. It was still kind of bright because it was the middle of the day, but good enough.

  
"Rapunzel is my favorite, no regrets," John says while watching. "This is my favorite Disney princess movie!"

  
"I honestly haven't seen any Disney movies..." Alex admits.

  
"BROOOOOOO well you are now!!!" John says excitedly, and he cuddles up a little with Alex. Alex blushes and wraps an arm around John. The two stay like that while watching the movie. After a couple of hours they finish the movie, still in the same position.

  
"That was pretty cool," Alex says, laughing a little at John who was still crying over the scene where Eugene got stabbed and Rapunzel saves him.

  
"Sh-shut up! Just you wait until we see The Lion King!" John snaps, wiping his face with his sleeve and smiling.

  
"Wanna make some popcorn for the next one?" Alex asks.

  
"Sure! I'll go get it," John offers and stands up. "Can you pop out the disk and put The Lion King in?"

  
Alex nods and does so while John makes the popcorn. They then cuddle back up and watch more movies (while crying because Disney).

  
After watching movies for hours, it eventually gets dark in the room and a message pops up on John's laptop.

  
"Uh oh, looks like a storm is coming," he says, and Alex's breath gets stuck in his throat.

  
"....a storm?" He repeats, trying to sound normal. John nods.

  
"Let's make dinner now, just in case the power goes out and we have to eat cereal," he laughs a little and gets up, going into the kitchen while Alex stays on the couch, not moving and visibly pale. His heart starts to increase its pace and he clutches onto a pillow.

  
_Keep it together Alex...._

  
Just then, a loud thunder roars making both of them jump, John laughing a little and Alex freaking out.

  
"Dang, that scared me! Didn't know it was coming this soon," John says, oblivious to the fact that Alex is freaking out. Alex tries to focus on his breathing, praying to God that it'll pass without John knowing about it. Boy was he wrong.

  
Rain starts to pour outside, slamming down on the roof of the dorms that just so happened to be right above them because they were on the top floor. Alex closes his eyes, sweating and trying not to think about _that night..._

  
"Alex?" John asks, concerned because Alex hasn't said a word. Alex flinches, looking at John fearfully and jumps when it thunders again. John stops what he was doing and goes over to him.

  
"Alex...are you alright?" He sits down next to him while he hides in the pillow. "Are you afraid of storms?"

  
Alex shakes his head quickly, but the rest of his actions obviously points out to John that he was terrified. John gets up and grabs a blanket and some headphones, then sits back down and wraps himself and Alex in the blanket, then handing him the earbuds.

  
"Here, maybe this'll distract you," he says, and Alex puts the earbuds in and notices that he's listening to his own mix. John must've gotten his phone.

  
"H-how did you know my passcode..?" He asks.

  
"Um...I may or may not have seen you type it in a lot and memorized it...I'm sorry--"

  
"No, i-it's alright...thank you..." Alex says quietly. John pulls him in closer and rubs his arm.

  
"You don't have to tell me why, unless you want to," John says, then they stay silent for a while. Alex relaxes after getting to the third song, and he eventually falls asleep on John. John smiles down at him, glad that he could help. Seeing Alex like that reminded John of himself almost constantly...

  
He was glad that he could help Alex, especially after all the ways Alex had helped him the past few months.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ayyyyyyyye laaaaaams. 
> 
> Okay so I have two questions this time, one of them normal and the other kinda serious. 
> 
> Question one: what music do you guys like to listen to besides Hamilton? (The bands I listed in this chapter that John likes is pretty much my answer)
> 
> Question two: what things trigger you guys? The next chapter may have some triggering things (my moirail pointed it out when I told her my plans) and I just want to know if those things will trigger you guys, and for future reference I will avoid those things because I don't want anyone to get hurt/triggered by this fanfic. It's not worth it. Seriously.
> 
> Anyways there we go, and yes I know updates have already been slow but I just wanted to mention that I start school in a couple of days and most likely updates are now either gonna be slower or the same, they probably won't be immediate unless I have a break or something. My schedule is pretty booked this year! But just know that I never abandon works so if I don't update for a loooong time, I'll come back to it eventually ^.^
> 
> Sorry that was long but it was important long! See ya next chapter!


	15. I am not throwing away my shot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> None because I'm not spoiling~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heeyyyyyyy so it's been a whiiiiillleee....I lost inspiration on this, and then there was lots of school stuff going on and just so happens that I gain some inspiration back right before exams!! Yaaaay so I'm really really sorry it's been such a long time, thank you so much if any of you guys actually stuck around for this, it means a lot!! Anyways lets get back to the story!
> 
>  
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: USE OF WEAPONS AND MENTION OF INJURY. IF THIS TRIGGERS YOU PLEASE DONT READ

"Morning John!"

  
The cheerful and slightly southern voice caught John by surprise, for it had belonged to Thomas Jefferson.

  
"Good morning, Thomas," he replies with a smile, deciding to be friendly. Which was a good choice.

  
"Listen, um....I'm sorry about before, when I tried to get you on my "side", it was very inappropriate of me and I do hope you can forgive me!" Thomas says, his expression sincere. That was enough proof for John to believe him.

  
"It's alright, I'm not mad!" He says, setting his books down beside the auditorium seats. They had theatre class together, why Thomas was taking theatre class of all things was something no one knew, but they decided not to ask about it either. As for John, Mr. Washington allowed him to drop one of his politics classes to take what he wanted, after learning about his father choosing his classes. John had loved the arts all his life, and he wanted to express it more than just through paper sketches. Needless to say, he was very excited. Peggy was there as well, they were with another group of friends.

  
The class began, everyone had gathered in their little groups and were rehearsing a mini skit they were going to perform at the end of class. John, Thomas and Madison were together. Again, don't ask why Madison was there. Probably to stick with Thomas and also to "get an easy A" (pfffft like that's gonna happen). Everything seemed to be a normal day....

  
Meanwhile, about half way through the class, a man walked into the school, going to the office, like normal. What he asked the lady at the front desk however was a bit off.

  
"Where is Mr. George Washington?" He asks simply in a thick and very proper British accent. The lady immediately suspected something was wrong.

  
"I beg your pardon but I don't believe I've seen you here before. I will need to see a legal identification--"

  
"I said," he leans on the counter and pulls out a gun. "..where is George Washington? I won't be asking again,"

  
The lady raises her hands up, visibly shaking. "I-I don't know, I'm sorry, you're going to have to leave, now," she says firmly, trying to hide the fact that she was terrified. The man smirks.

  
"I can't kill a beautiful lady like you," he says, "do me a favor and do not touch that intercom, I will just look for him myself and no one will get hurt. If you do however," he looks down at his weapon. "Well, we both know what will happen then," and with that, he leaves. The lady watches him leave her sight before calling the police and calling every teacher nearby the office to tell them the situation.

  
Unfortunately the man went to the auditorium first, who had not received the lady's warning call yet.

  
The man hid the gun in his pocket and walked in. John's group was performing for the class, and when the doors slammed shut John had stopped reciting his line and everyone turned to where the sound had came from. The man walks towards the teacher.

  
"Might you know where George Washington is?" He asks. The teacher raises an eyebrow.

  
"No...I'm sorry who are you?"

  
"An old friend," he says, his voice smooth, but that didn't stop John from becoming suspicious about it. He knew a liar when he heard one. Everyone started to merge in a tighter group in front of the stage, the trio joining them.

  
"Did you check into the office first? They would know where he is better than I do," the teacher says, glancing back at the students worriedly.

  
"I did, but I'm afraid they weren't helpful at all,"

  
John looks at the man's jacket, seeing a crease from the pocket, and he immediately knew what it was. He had seen many soldiers with the same tactics as to hiding a gun in their pocket. His breath gets caught in his throat as he tries to silently warn the teacher about it, to no use.

  
"I feel like you should leave," the teacher finally says. The man rolls his eyes, pulls out the gun and suddenly--BANG!

  
Multiple students scream, everyone backing away from him, ending up in the corner of the room. The man smiles at them.

  
"Oh, you aren't afraid of me are you?" He walks towards them, the crowd cowering back further. "Don't worry, I won't harm any of you if you just tell me where Mr. Washington is!" He practically yells at them.

  
Everyone looks around, no one knowing what to do and panicking. The man twirls his weapon on his finger.

  
"It's not that hard, just tell me where he is," he growls slowly. He turns to two students, who were hugging and whimpering in fear. He starts to approach the two, who only hug each other closer and looking away. John recognizes the bushy brown hair and yellow shirt of one of the girls.

  
_Peggy._

  
John looks at Thomas, Thomas seeing the look in his eye and he shakes his head. John looks back at the scene, takes a deep breath and steps forward.

  
"Leave them alone," he says, his voice surprisingly strong, not quivering. The man turns to him.

  
"Ah, you're a brave one! I like the brave ones," he approaches John. "And why should I do that, _boy_? The scared ones are the most fun to mess around with,"

  
"Because....I can show you where Mr. Washington is. I'll take you to him....if you leave everyone else alone,"

  
Multiple people glare at John, angry at his actions. John could feel their glares on the back of his head but ignored them. Thomas and Peggy look at him fearfully. Thomas places a hand on his chin, thoughts on the situation swimming in his mind.

  
 _"He would never take him to Washington....Washington is like his second father...he's going to take him somewhere else....he's just trying to protect us,_ " Thomas realizes, and his eyes widen at the possible result of this action.

  
"John don't do it, he could hurt you!" He blurts out. John looks at him, surprised at his outburst, but then he smiles a little. Thomas is caught off guard, _why would he smile?_

  
"Is this your friend?" The man asks Thomas, making him glare at the man and growl a little. "Don't worry then," he says, placing a hand on top of John's head and grasps onto his hair painfully. "I won't do anything to him,"

  
Thomas clenches his fist, tempted to punch him in the face but Madison pulls him back.

  
"Thomas....it won't help," he says quietly. Thomas glares back at the man who was now walking out of the auditorium, making John lead the way by pulling on his hair that was up in his signature ponytail. When they leave, everyone starts to talk, many statements about how "Laurens is a _traitor_!" echoed throughout. Thomas runs towards the doors.

  
"Thomas! What the hell are you doing?!" Madison calls.

  
"John's going to get severely hurt, he's taking that man somewhere else, somewhere empty I bet! The man's going to kill him when he realizes that John was lying!"

  
"So?! You're just gonna _run_ in there like an idiot? What's that gonna do?!" Madison retorts. "I don't want you to get hurt too!"

  
"No....I'm going to find Washington and warn him. Madison, you go tell the front office what just happened!" Thomas says.

  
"I'll go with him, I don't want him getting hurt because of me!" Peggy chimes in, running out with him and Madison. "Good luck!" They call, and they all go their separate ways. Thomas runs up the flight of stairs, his brows furrowed in a determined expression.

  
_"John...hang on, we'll get to you in time!"_

\----------------------------------

Thomas runs up to the second floor, taking many twists and turns to get to Washington's room. When he arrives he bursts in, interrupting class.

  
"Thomas? What's the meaning of this?" Washington asks.

  
"M-Mister....Washington...there's...a man...after you...John..taken...has..gun.." Thomas explains, pausing to catch his breath. A certain someone's head rises up immediately at the mention of John's name.

  
"John? Taken? _Where_?!?" Alexander stands up, clearly worried. Washington escorts Thomas and Alex out of the classroom, telling the rest of his students to do class work.

  
"Okay, tell me everything," Washington says.

  
"A man..he came into theatre class, he..he shot down the teacher, and was asking for you...he was going to attack someone but John stood up to him and said he would take him to you. But he's not, he's taking him somewhere else I know it! He needs help sir, the man's gonna kill him when he finds out he lied!" Thomas explained hurriedly. Alex stares at him, his mind everywhere.

  
_'John's in danger? What was he thinking? Oh god what if he gets hurt? What if he gets shot and it's serious? What if he gets paralyzed? Why didn't he think this through more?! He didn't think about the possibility of being killed, he just thought of the safety of others! What if he dies? He can't die, I didn't tell him yet...'_

  
"Have you told anyone else about this?" Washington asks, his voice seemingly calm but his expression very worried.

  
"Madison and Peggy went to tell the office," Thomas says.

  
"Alright. Where do you think John would take him?" Washington asks, and Thomas looks at Alex.

  
"Alex, you know him the best, where would he most likely go?" He asks. Alex thinks.

  
".....he knows of a lot of quiet places, he told me he would go to them if something were to happen, like if he got an anxiety attack or something....somewhere where a class isn't going on, and isolated..." he thinks aloud. Then it hits him.

  
"The music room, it's away from the other classes so it wouldn't distract anyone! They don't have class in the morning, he must've gone there!"   
Washington nods.

  
"Alright, let's go. We need to get there before they do," he says, and the three start speed-walking/jogging down the hall. Thomas puts a hand on Alex's shoulder.

  
"He'll be alright, I'm sure of it!"

  
Alex nods, not entirely believing him but still accepting the thought. _We'll get there in time..._

\-------------------------

"I must ask, boy," the man starts, walking beside John as they go down a hallway. By now all the teachers on the first floor had spread the word and locked their doors and shut off the lights, hiding from the man. The man showed no interest to the classes however, he was more interested in his captive.

"How come you aren't afraid of me? It does make things a lot more _interesting_ when a young teenage boy like yourself isn't afraid of a man wielding a gun, but it doesn't make things _fun_ ,"

  
The man's thick accent made shivers run down John's spine. He takes a deep breath. "Maybe I'm not as afraid of death as other people are, besides..." he pauses. "Not many people would care if I had died anyways,"

  
"Well that's tragic! What's the point in keeping you then?" He says, taking his gun back out.

  
"Because I'm important, if you kill me then my father will get angry and will probably try to kill you and sue whoever teacher here let me get killed, and they know this too," John half-lies. "So they would do anything to keep me alive,"

  
He knew that they wouldn't do much to prevent him being harmed, but he had to say something. After all, the only reason he was doing this was to protect his friends.

  
"Hmm...alright, what might your name be then?" The man asks.

  
"I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours," John retorts, glaring at the man who just smiles in return.

  
"Alright, my name is Charles Cornwallis," he says, bowing a little.

  
"I'm John,"

  
"Last name?"

  
"Fuck off,"

  
"You got some sass going on there! Well, no matter," Charles says, shrugging and pointing the gun on John's back, turning the safety off. "You may not survive very long anyways," he says casually.

  
John gulps, semi-regretting his sassy remark. He stares ahead at his destination. His heart starts to beat faster as he approaches the music room. _Once I get there, I have to find out a way to get his gun and knock him out, before he..._  
His thoughts trail off. They arrive at the doors and he opens them.

  
"Why have you brought me to a music room?" Charles asks in curiosity, slowly starting to realize the situation.

  
"Ya know, you're pretty stupid for a burglar, trusting me like that. I wouldn't bring you to George Washington even if it cost me my life," John says after closing the doors and smirking at the man. "You may have a gun but I'm pretty fast. I can dodge bullets," he continues. The gun-wielding man smirks with him.

  
"And you must be pretty stupid for a young man such as yourself. You seem confident but I can tell how _terrified_ you are, I see it on all of my victims before I kill them," with that his arm shoots up and he fires at John, who was prepared so he dodged easily. He runs towards the older man and pushes him down, holding onto his wrist that held the gun. He takes the gun from Charles, who then pushes him off easily. John cocks the gun and shoots, not really aiming anywhere but it ends up hitting the man's hip. Charles falls to the ground, his hands flying to the spot as John stands up, pointing the gun at the man's head. After realizing what he did, however, he couldn't stop his hands and body to shake, his breathing also shaky. This made the man smirk.

  
"Heh, go ahead," he says. "Shoot me! I know you can't, you're too soft," he pushes, making John shake even more, staring at the gun that he had fired. His breathing becomes more shaky, as if he was having a panic attack. Charles' smirk grows. "SHOOT ME!"

  
Just then the doors to the music room bursts open, revealing Washington, Thomas and Alexander. "John!" Alex and Thomas yell. John looks back at them, his eyes wide and he lowers the gun. Big mistake.

  
Charles takes this opportunity to stand up, grab the boy's hair again and takes the gun, pointing it at his back again as they both fall to their knees.

  
"Hey, looks like your friends are here to save you!" He says into John's ear, who was shaking and breathing heavily because of the panic attack. He tries to calm down as the three at the door watch in horror.

  
"LEAVE HIM ALONE YOU--" Alex yells and steps towards the two before Washington stops him.

  
"Hello Charles...what brings you here? And why are you going to harm my students?" He speaks. Charles tilts his head to the side, his smile not disappearing as he pulls on John's hair more.

  
"I'm here for you of course~!"

  
Alex clenches his fists, glaring at the man and grinding his teeth together in anger. "Let him go," he says from behind his teeth. Thomas looks at him worriedly.

  
"Why should I? I'm just using your friend for a bit so I can get what I want," Charles sneers, pressing the weapon against the freckled boy's back more. Said boy closes his eyes, sweat falling off his face as he tries to concentrate on his breathing now that his shaking had almost stopped.

  
"What do you want with me then?" Washington asks.

  
"Isn't it obvious? I'm here to get revenge," he glares at the man, who glares back. The two boys beside Washington look back and forth from the two older men and themselves.

  
"You know that wasn't my fault--"

  
"Shut up! You know it was! Besides I'm only taking orders from someone, someone who wants you dead," he smirks. "I'm gonna get paid quite a lot for today,"

  
"Are you sure about that," Thomas says as he looks behind him, seeing cops run down the hallway towards them.

  
"Shit...that brat, she called the police!" Charles growled, shaking in anger. The police raises their guns at the man.

  
"PUT THE GUN DOWN, NOW," one of them yells.

  
"And why should I listen to you? If any of you lot move, I'll kill him!" He threatens, holding John closer to himself. The cops look at each other, figuring out what to do.

  
Until the unexpected happened.

  
John takes a deep breath, all attention onto him now. He opens his eyes, determination burning in them, and he grabs the gun pointed behind him. Charles growls as they both struggle to get the weapon.

  
"Urg, STUPID BOY!" He yells. John pushes down on the gun, trying to get it to aim at the ground so it doesn't shoot anybody if it were to go off. Unfortunately, the man gets his finger on the trigger and pulls, right as it was aiming at the boy's right side. "JOHN!!!" Alex and Thomas yell in horror. John cries out in pain, but doesn't fall down onto his back until he rips it out of Charles' hands. At this point, the cops aim their own guns at him, and proceed to do their arresting business. Alex was the first to get to John, who was laying on the ground struggling to keep his eyes open.

  
"John! Oh god oh god _ohgodohgodohgod_ \--," he quickly takes his hoodie off and pressed it on the wound.

  
"Hey, John look at me!" He says desperately. Said boy looks at him with hazy eyes. If the pain from the shot hadn't clouded over his senses, he would've been having a panic attack right about now; but instead he just lied there, staring up at Alex as if he were an angel  ~~(which he is lol)~~. 

  
"H-hey, stay with me!" Alex tells him, not breaking eye contact.

  
John smiles a little. "Are...are the others...okay?" He whispers.

  
"They are, thanks to you," Thomas says from behind Alex. "The school doctors are on their way, Mr. Washington called for them," he crouches down beside them. "You're gonna be okay," he says, more like telling himself that than telling it to John.

  
"J-John--" Alex chokes out. John feels something wet fall on his cheek, he tries to focus in on Alex through his hazy vision to see him crying and shaking.

  
"Don't cry, Alex...it'll be okay...thanks for..being here for me.." he says slowly, raising his hand up a little to brush against Alex's cheek, and is still smiling a little.

  
"I n-never understand how you can always s-smile, even in th-this situation," Alex comments, more tears flooding his eyes and falling onto John. He holds onto his hand. "L-listen there's something I need to tell you!"

  
Just as the words leave his mouth the school paramedics rush in with a stretcher and everything. Students crowd around the giant doors of the music room, wanting to know what all happened. They step aside as the cops lead Charles out, who gives one last evil smirk to Washington as he is ushered out. Meanwhile the doctors lay John on a stretcher and place an oxygen mask on him.

  
"Sir, we'll need you to give us some space--" they try to say to Alex. "W-wait! I-I need to tell him!" He begs, refusing to let go of John's hand until they push him away. As they roll the stretcher out the room and down the hall out of Alex's reach, he calls out to them.

  
"J-John Laurens, I-I want you to know, th-that I--I LOVE YOU!"

  
The crowd of students at the door fall silent, they make way for the doctors who roll John out with haste, then they look back at the scene inside. Alex didn't care that they had all heard, he just hoped to god that John did. He looks down at his shaking hands, noticing the small amount of blood that had gotten on them. He clenches his teeth, trying to hold in tears but failing. Thomas walks over to him and gives him a gentle hug, ignoring the fact that they were rivals a day ago. Alex forgets this too, for he grasps onto Thomas's pink jacket and sobs in his shoulder.

  
Unbeknownst to them, John had uttered a small reply before being wheeled away and passing out soon after.

  
_"I love you too...Alex..."_

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WEELLLLL THEEENNN yeah sorry not sorry for coming back with a chapter like that but HE CONFESSED HAHA NEXT CHAPTER WILL HAVE FLUFF TO MAKE UP FOR IT. I'm not the best at writing things like that but I thought it'd be an interesting way to kinda tie in the story with the musical (ya know since John gets shot in the musical...) so yeah! I hope you guys liked that, and next chapter will be up....soon? I don't really have a plan for when but I'm not abandoning this!


	16. Stay Alive....

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> S T U F F

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am back. From the dead. Stay alive.... okay yeah hai I am back with another chapter for those who are still here after the long long break. I apologize. I had no motivation. Anyways, enjoy! (I think you will)

Two days.

  
It's been two long days.

  
And all Alex could think about was _him_.

  
There were multiple people who fit under this category. _Him_ , his best friend and crush, who sacrificed himself for the sake of others, and his condition was currently unknown. _Him_ , who was the bastard that shot his best friend, who is now arrested for his crime. _Him_ , his teacher and fatherly figure, and whatever secrets he may be hiding that had gotten them to this point. _Him_ , who he had a rivalry with since high school and that day it was as if their rivalry hadn't existed.

  
For the first, or maybe second time in his life, Alexander Hamilton couldn't concentrate on his work. His thoughts were elsewhere, anywhere except his homework that was due in a month anyways. Questions and concerns swam all around his intelligent brain, to the point where he slammed his pen down, saying enough is enough, and grabbing his coat by the door of their dorm room.

  
The empty dorm room.

  
Usually at this time he would be sitting at his own desk, doing theatre homework or sketching who knows what ( ~~probably turtles~~ ) while humming his music. But currently that desk is unoccupied, no one sitting at it and the work from a few days past still sprawled around in an organized fashion. Alex had hated the silence, the loneliness in the small room, desperately wishing for his freckled comrade to walk in, flustered and apologetic for being late. He sighs, knowing that that's not the case and that instead he was laying in a hospital bed, probably still asleep. He makes his way out the dorm room and down the flights of stairs, hoping that today the doctors will let him visit. For the past two days they wouldn't allow anyone besides close family members to visit, which always got Alex angry.

  
His "close family" never bothered to even show up.

  
He walks across the street and down the sidewalk towards the tall white building. He picks up his pace when he walks in through the double doors, going straight to John's room ( ~~he had already memorized where it was, the cute bastard~~ ). A doctor was just then leaving his room when he arrived.

  
"Pardon me, sir," Alex asks politely, catching the doctor's attention, who in turn smiled down at him. He gave off a kind aura, with dark black hair slicked back with hair gel with a few strands sticking out. He had rectangular glasses, and his looks in general made it seem like he was made to be a doctor. His name tag read Dr. Wilson.

  
"How is he doing?" Alex asks hastily, recalling that he had seen Dr. Wilson the other day when he tried to visit.

  
"I remember you from yesterday! Alexander, right?" Dr. Wilson asks, smiling. He looks down at his clipboard as he speaks. “He is doing better, he woke up for the first time this morning, he immediately asked about you. We told him that you would visit later and he went back to sleep. After a few weeks he should make a full recovery, so there's no need to worry."

  
Alex breathes out a small sigh of relief. _He was okay..._

  
"May I see him now? Since he's waken up and stuff..you guys wouldn't let me see him before," he points out.

  
"Yes, you may, and I apologize for that, it's our policy to only allow close family members visit for the first few days. We've had quite a lot of patients in the past with large groups of friends constantly arrive to visit and they would disturb the other patients, I do hope you understand," he explains while chuckling a little, and adjusting his glasses up the bridge of his nose. "He's asleep right now, but I'm sure he'll wake up again soon,"

  
"Thank you very much!" Alex says with a smile, and after a small nod in return Dr. Wilson walks away to check on another patient. Alex then enters the room slowly.

  
He hated the sight of his beloved friend in the pure white sheets of a pure white room, yet was happy at the same time to finally see him again. John was resting peacefully, tubes connected to him for medicine. His hair had been taken out of its usual ponytail and was sprawled out on the pillow, the insane masses of curls made him almost unrecognizable and Alex couldn't believe how the doctors could've worked all around them. _No wonder he had always put it up_ , he thought to himself. Alex wandered over to his side, a soft smile not leaving his face as he looked down at John adoringly.

  
"Hey John," he whispers, pulling a chair up beside the bed and sitting in it. "I'm so happy to see you," he takes John's limp hand into his own. "They wouldn't let me in, said only 'close family members can visit', which I call BS on that," he chuckles a little, "but I'm here now! I'm here..." he falls silent, looking down at John's hand in his own and seeing the many freckles that dotted it. He rubs his thumb over the knuckles while studying them. John shifts ever so slightly in his sleep, which urges Alex to talk more to him. He may be asleep, but he had the feeling that he was listening.

  
"Guess what? Jefferson and I haven't fought in three days, I never thought this day would come," he laughs again, shaking his head in disbelief. "He's been over here quite a lot actually, trying to visit you. Seriously, those doctors wouldn't let us in! We both ranted to Madison about it for an hour," he smiles and gazes up, recalling the memory. "Ya know, he isn't that bad of a guy after all, we talked a little and I told him that even though we're on friendly terms now it still doesn't mean I'm gonna go easy on him in debates! He agreed and said he might tease me still. But man, this is all still a shock to me! So much has changed in just a few days...." he trails off, realizing that he had started ranting a little again, and his gaze falls back down on John. His expression saddens a little now.

  
"I wish you could wake up..so that I can actually tell you how I feel. I meant what I said, I'm still not even sure if you heard me, I wouldn't blame you if you didn't though because I can't imagine how it feels to get..." he stops again, and sighs. "I'm...I'm sorry, that I wasn't there to protect you, you...you did a really brave thing, ya know? Despite all the shit thrown at you by those people, you still protected them..I admire that, as much as I hate seeing you in this state, I can't help but feel proud, you really stood up for yourself and you..you stopped blocking your own shot, John, you stood up for yourself and took it," he smiles at him, and brings his hand up to his cheek. "I..I love you so much, and I want to be with you for now on, at all times," his eyes well up with salty tears. Was it happy tears, or tears of sadness? He never knew. All that mattered to him in that moment was John.

 

* * *

 

The first thing to came to mind were the bright lights that practically blinded him as he slowly started to open his eyes. He closed them tightly from said brightness, and the second thing that came to mind was the wish to fall back asleep. Back to the world where nothing and no one can harm you. Back to the world that was like death, but better. Death with benefits. _Yeah, that's the right way to put it_ , he smiles to himself. Then came the third thing that crossed his mind.

  
Why was his right arm so warm?

  
He opens his eyes fully this time, taking in his surroundings which he had recognized all too well. The white walls of the hospital room seemed to resonate back to him as he recalled the many times he had been here. He tilts his head to the right and through his semi-blurry eyes spotted a figure sleeping on his arm. He didn't need to wipe his eyes to know who it was.

  
_Alex..._

  
There he was, Alexander Hamilton, sleeping for the first time in ages. John smiles softly at him, wishing he could take a picture of this moment. He noticed Alex's hand was on top of his, so he slowly turns his own and holds his hand. He wanted to pet Alex's greasy black hair but he felt like he couldn't move. All he could do was lie there and enjoy the warmth of Alex sleeping on his arm. While laying, he starts to recall the events that had happened.

  
The gunman, the theatre teacher, the classmates and their faces, Peggy...

  
He wondered if everyone was okay, he wondered if any of them even cared about what he had done for them. _Whatever_ , he told himself. _I don't really like that much attention anyways._

  
He looks down at Alex again, recalling the last words he heard from him.

  
**_"J-John Laurens, I-I want you to know, th-that I--I LOVE YOU!"_ **

  
He smiles at the thought, a part of him thinking it was just his imagination yet another part telling him it was real. Alex liked him back...

  
"I wonder if you heard me reply," he softly asks himself.

  
"What was your answer?"

  
John gasps, and there was Alex, sitting up and smiling at him. His hair was sticking up in random places and he had the usual bags under his eyes, but he was awake, and smiling. God he missed that smile.

  
"Alex, you're awake!" He exclaims, his voice cracking from lack of use the past few days.

  
"I should be saying that to you," Alex replied softly, barely keeping himself together.

  
"Heh..."

  
"John..."

  
"......."

  
They exchanged a long, quiet yet comfortable gaze, just staring into each other's eyes lovingly. Words didn't need to be spoken, they both could feel what the other was thinking and feeling. Then Alex hugs John, carefully avoiding the many tubes and machinery but tight enough to give John a rush of warmth in his body.

  
"I...I missed you," he whispers, barely hugging back. Alex just keeps holding on to him, as if he would never get the chance to hold him again.

  
"I thought I was gonna lose you.."

  
"I...I'm sorry Alex, I don't know what I was thinking, I-I....when I saw Peggy, how scared they were...I had to, I--"

  
"John," Alex cuts off his rant, causing the other boy to look at him with guilty eyes.

  
"It was...really brave of you..stupid, but brave,” Alex admits, “Beneath my worrying I feel proud of you,”

  
John blushes and looks down, not used to someone being _proud_ , of _him_.

  
“Well, I’ve-I’ve been trying to be more, ya know, confident..” he stumbles a little on his words.

  
“John Laurens, after that you are the definition of ‘Go Big or Go Home!’” Alex exclaims. This causes an airy laugh from John, and Alex chuckles along with him. Once they quiet down again, Alex takes a deep breath.

  
“So...what was your answer?” He asks again, nervously, slightly afraid of what John now thinks of him.

  
“Alexander,” John starts, taking Alex’s hand and holding it gingerly. “I’m just gonna say it bluntly. I love you, and I’ve liked you for a while now. I wasn’t sure what to do with my feelings, I probably wasn’t even gonna confess for a while...Alex, you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, in my life. I know it sounds like a lot but it’s true! Even though you hated me at first—which I don’t blame you for because I would’ve hated me too—you actually were one of the first few people who actually noticed me...and I’m glad that you gave me a second chance eventually because otherwise we wouldn’t have ended up here at this very moment. I love you Alex..and thank you, for accepting me for who I am,”

  
When he finishes his confession, Alex places a small kiss on his forehead. John blushes a little and smiles, and their eyes lock when he pulls away.

  
“So do you accept my proposal?” Alex asks, grinning.

  
“ALEX! WE AREN’T GETTING MARRIED!” John exclaims as Alex laughs. “However I do accept the boyfriend status,” he adds, and laughs with him. Just then the door opens to reveal a very distraught Peggy with their two sisters following behind.

  
“JOHN!” They rush over to his side and push Alex out of the way, who ~~falls~~ runs into Eliza. “Johnathon Laurens, don’t _ever_ do something like that for me again!” They yell, tears spilling out of their eyes as they appear angry, but then they collapse onto his shoulder in relief. “We all could’ve lost you....you’re an idiot! But...you’re still here...thank God...”

  
John awkwardly laughs, and pats their back soothingly. “I’m here, it’s okay...and I’ll do anything for those I love,” he looks at Alex, who smiles back. “But....what do you mean by ‘we’?”

  
“All of us of course!” Peggy responds, gesturing to everyone in the room. Just then Thomas and Madison peek in the room, unsure of whether or not to intrude. John notices and smiles at them, making them look at each other and walk in. Thomas speaks up.

  
“Ya know John, I am speechless. What you did the other day was something no one would ever be brave enough to do, and for that I respect you. I’m sure I speak on behalf of everyone, not just in this room but in the whole school, when I say that we are eternally grateful. You saved more lives than you could possibly imagine. I gotta ask though, why did you do it?”

  
John physically pauses, not wanting to tell the others his real reasoning. He looks down at his lap. _I’m worthless, everyone wanted me dead anyways so I thought it wouldn’t be such a big deal if I had ended up losing my life. They wouldn’t have cared, even if I had lost it trying to protect them...they don’t care._

_  
They don’t care....._

_  
They don’t..._

  
“John?” Alex asks, interrupting his demons in his mind from speaking to him. He looks up.

  
_That’s right.._

_  
Alex cares...._

_  
Peggy cares and Thomas cares..._

_  
I’m not alone after all.._

  
He smiles again. “Like I said, I’ll do anything to protect my family,”

  
They all smile back at him, and start up a small conversation, something about how the other students might react to his return, or what will happen to Charles. All the while Alex and John share a look, and for the second time that day they didn’t need to speak in order to know how the other was feeling.

  
_We’re finally together..._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Don’t kill off John!” Haha you thought (ya know cuz of the title) anyways THEY ARE TOGETHER YAY~ please comment your thoughts!!! I love comments! And I apologize for mistakes, which speaking of which I wanted to mention that at the beginning of this story I had mentioned Alex being gay, yes I know that’s incorrect but in this story he will be gay cuz I don’t want SOME PEOPLE *glares at Eliza and maria* to get in the way. So there we go~ <3 love you guys please don’t kill meeeeee


End file.
